A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:OK Guys... I have dilemma again.Last night my live in boyfriend took me out to a Dinner and Dance restaurant on Valentines Day. We invited my Mom and her boyfriend, and his best friend and his wife. (They all have known each other for years.)When we were being seated at our table, there was a tight spot that I took so that no one else would be uncomfortable. I ended up seated across from my boyfriend while he sat next to his best friends wife. Well the wife pretty much ignored her husband while having casual but intimate comments back and forth with my boyfriend. When we got our food, she was almost in his plate.Well as the evening went on, there was a moment when they looked at each other for about 3 minutes, and their heads slowly got drawn together closer and closer... looking into each others eyes, and turning their heads as though they were going to have a passionate kiss... and they got about 4 inches away from each other, then broke it off.We are not teenagers here! Once my boyfriend told me that his best friend once told him, "If something were to happen to me, you will sleep with my wife!"I need some opinions, please!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, mandy7.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): I no just what you mean hunny, He needs to stop with the drinking pronto thats my advise but he probably wont, You need to tell him love, It cant go on like this if he wont at least try and slow down on the pop as he gets out of control, and you dont like that person he becomes, He may take notice hunny then again who knows eh! I hope things do work out for you love as you dont want to watch this kind of thing everytime you 2 go out Ive been with someone like that and its not good... TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTuatara... When his friend said that he suspected that my boyfriend would sleep with his wife after he would die, my boyfriend said that he was insulted.
Normally when we are all together, I never noticed anything abnormal.
I feel that I know what a friendly social kiss and hug is... and what a romantic kiss is. At my age, I have been around a lot of situations.
But, I have never been with someone like this. I feel as though he is a man who 'can't seem to stay away from other women.'
There was one other time when something like this happened. We were out partying, and he started kissing another friend's wife's neck. She told him to STOP. The next day he said that he didn't remember it, and called me a liar. He then called his friend's wife and asked her if he did such a thing. She said NO. But I tell you what... that friend no longer comes around!
He tells me he loves me, wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He drinks a lot, and when he is drinking, he turns into "Mr. Hyde"
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): I think this is a classic example of womens intuition ragging on all fronts!
What you have described, was not quite right in my opinion, something was not quite right here. There is no denying that you have discribed alot of flirtatious behaviour between these two. My first question would be how they normally behave together, at other times. You said you have known these two for a long time. Do they normally flirt? Equally, they did this in front of everyone and was that normal behaviour for your partner?
The 'near kiss' goes alot deeper than flirtatious comments, they must have been totally in each others space for this to happen, which implies to me a comfortable knowledge of each other and what is appropriate.
Story; Last year, I went away for a couple of days. Husbands best mate and his girlfriend stayed while I was gone. Came home, found a condom in husbands pocket, long story short, husband and mates girlfriend got at it while best mate was asleep! Known them for many, many years, never saw her flirting in front of me, OTHER FRIENDS SAID THEY SAW IT. Wish someone had told me. Husband never told me she was after him for years, he finally accepted. Shock and horror, broken hearts and many many months of hurt and pain. He kept her up his sleeve until the opportunity presented itself again. Lesson for me, was to no longer be so naieve to others objectives and desire, both husbands and loose womens who play silly games.
What was your partners respnse to the sleeping with the girlfriend after his mate was not around. Did he agree?
You will know if the situation was more than it should have been. This is your gut instinct kicking in. It is now really about what you should do about it, if anything.
My suggestion is to keep this up your sleeve, a bit. NEVER leave them alone at the moment. I would equally be templted to create a situation, with her partner but him not being aware, of teasing the two of them. Your partner and her. Make a joke about how they got carried away and it looked like they were about to have a passionate kiss.
Make a big joke about it, include her partner saying, "did you see the two silly love birds!" You can fob off your comments as implying that you had problems, it was just that they made a bit of a fool of themselves, in front of everyone who noticed.
This could come down to nothing. But they have given you cause for suspicion in respect to this closness. It does depend on how they are normally together.
For your information, my husband didn't think alot about his mates partner, she was never the topic of conversation, he ignored her slightly without being rude. But I never, ever, ever EVER! saw the secret relationship they had for alot of years. I never thought it was even a slight possibility, other than knowing she was pretty loose!!
Be careful but not crazy! xxxxxx
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reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 February 2008):
 Your rightful place would be besides your b/f and in between him and that friends wife.If you have done that, this incident would probably have no occurred.You need to guard your territory. LOL!
Any how , you should be wiser the next time where you sit on such occasions.
Was there a lot of noise or the background music was too loud?It could explain the close proximity when they were talking.
At times like these, that woman would talk to your b/f most of the time than to the husband because she will not have the opportunity to talk to your b/f. Whereas, she can talk to the hubby all the time.
In some cultures, the man take the food from the main dish and transfer it on to her plate.
Your b/f must be terrific and gorgeous looking and she cannot help it .LOL!
You could be irked by her attentions on your b/f but I think this is normal when you are sitting together around the same table.
When the dinner is over, you go your separate ways .
End of this matter except for you who can't find the answer to this perplexing situation.
You are an affected party and you may see things differently from an impartial observer. Sometimes, what you see is not what you get. Treat it as a joke ,This thing happens and we just accept them in our strides.
When you reached home, did you asked your b/f if he enjoyed the Valentine dinner or did he asked you? LOL!
That man was just joking about sleeping with his wife when he is gone. What he meant was please look after her for him when he is gone.Whether they want to sleep with each other is another issue.That is men's talk and it should be taken literally .
I am sorry , your valentine day was such a memorable event and which you will forever remember. Next time , just the two of you and nobody else. It is more fun that way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): Oh boy Hi Hunny
Sorry to here of what must have been a awful valentines for you sweetheart, Your last coment, your botfriend once told you that if anything happened to his friend his friend has asked would he sleep with his wife!!!!!!
What to think? I think I would ask what the f**k was all that about mate!!!! You are sitting right opposite him hunny does he want to rub your nose in it to the point of hurting you? Id most definatly talk to him then I would be tempted to ask his friend what the deal is with the sleeping with his wife if anything happened to him, As were you on the seen then as to me that is a strange question to ask someone, I mean something could happen to anyone at any time but we dont make plans for our spouses sex lives do we, We make plans for them to be taken care of yea but sexually Em Not spoken about on a daily basis. Sweetheart there is somthing not quite right here, Abit of harmless flirting ok but that was something else. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU DARLING I HOPE THINGS ARE OK LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): 1. Ask your mom if she noticed anything going on between them. Getting an impartial opinion is a good idea, you may have been imagining things.2. If what you saw did really happen... well, I guess they have a bit of a crush on one another! But they didn't actually kiss, so that shows some self-restraint (though I can't believe they would do that in front of you guys). I doubt he'll cheat on you with her. It is just a harmless crush, most likely, and there is nothing wrong with those. They are perfectly normal and healthy. As long as he never actually kisses her, you haven't anything to worry about. Keep an eye on it. Maybe ask him about her, say something like, "didn't she look beautiful that night?" and see what he says.
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