A
female
age
30-35,
*arasu10
writes:My boyfriend has this one friend (that is a girl) and they used to date. It never got serious with her because she went crazy on him and tried to get pregnant by him. Anyways, me and him briefly broke up then recently got back together. We are having a baby together and everything. I know for a fact nothing happened between them while we were broken up, but she makes me very uncomfortable. She's always telling him that she loves him and misses him. Fortunately, he ignores her when she says that. She also writes all over online how in love with him she is, and she's always talking about him. I trust my bf with all my heart because he has given me no reason not to, and he tells me that she still wants to be with him, but he's made it perfectly clear to her that nothing will ever happen. unfortunately she continues to do all of this stuff that is just plain PSYCHO. like she tells him how depressed she is all the time. i guess to get some sort of sympathy from him, which he never gives to her, but she still continues.i just want her out of our lives because we're about to start a new family and i dont want my child around this unstable person.should i tell her something? if so, what?or should i let him take care of it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): You can't be the one who takes care of this. Believe me, that's a losing game, and it will only create resentments and wreak havoc in your own situation. She isn't going to go anywhere until she is out of his life...period. If she isn't quite stable (and I suspect she isn't)if you try to speak with her, she'll only get defensive and feel like she has something to prove. Depressed people often just use that as an excuse to keep the attention focused on them.They aren't depressed, they are just angry because they can't control the situation any other way. He needs to cut the contact with her...period. no email, no phone calls, texts, visits...nothing. You have enough on your plate, so you don't need the stress, and there is simply no earthly reason for him to keep her around.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): Telling her it will never happen between them is saying he will never commit to her...it is not the same thing as breaking contact because he is committed to you.
To answer your question, your boyfriend needs to take care of this and if he isn't, why not?
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (1 September 2009):
I think it's definitely something that your boyfriend needs to take care of. How is she communicating with him? Is it via email, social networking site, or over the phone? I think regardless if he ignores her when she tells him she's still in love with him and wants him, he needs to cut her out of his life completely, even if it requires him changing his phone number, deleting her from facebook or myspace, and blocking/changing any sort of online communication (email or messenger). Obviously, you two are in a serious and committed relationship with a baby on the way, so she's starting to effect your life as well, which isn't fair.
I think you should tell your boyfriend what you told us. Let him know that it makes you uncomfortable that she is always throwing herself at him especially now that you two are starting a family, and that you would greatly appreciate it if he took the steps to cut her out of his life completely. If he happens to work with her or run into her somewhere, then it can't be helped--but everything else that he has control over as far as her being able to contact him, he should do what he can to make sure she leaves both him and you alone.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 September 2009):
 Does she work with him or live near by? I mean why doesn't he just cut her off and never talk to her again? Can he stop all communication with her because that's what's called for here. Once she figures out she can't keep putting her foot in the door, hopefully she will give it up and move on.
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