A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my current gf for five years. Things are okay, but they're not great. We argue quite a lot, generally nothing major, just constant bickering about me leaving the toilet seat up, she squeezing the toothpaste from the middle, etc.Recently we both acknowledged to each other that we don't have anything in common. Many couples don't, but we both think it's important. I certainly feel that if we stay together, get married etc, our lack of shared interests may drive us apart in the future. But I accept that it may not.The big spanner in the works, though, is that I've met someone else who I really like. She doesn't know how I feel (though she may suspect), and I've no idea if she feels the same way, but that doesn't mean much as I'm hopeless when it comes to reading signs. But this girl ticks all the boxes for me; she's much more my type than my gf.So do I tell this other girl how I feel? It's complicated by the fact that we work together, so things could get awkward. In some ways I hope she says she doesn't like me, as that would mean I can stop thinking about her and get on with my life. Plus my biggest fear is having to split up with my gf, as I know it would break her heart and I'd hate to do that. But I also hope she says yes, as I'd love to be with her and think she'd be a much better match for me than my current gf. We have more in common for a start and, if I'm honest, I'm far more attracted to her physically than to my gf. Do I tell her?Wow, I've rambled on a bit. Thanks for listening.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): It sounds like you really care for your girlfriend and this "grass is greener" on the other side thing you have going on, is really more of a symptom of something deeper going on. Before you do anything rash and destroy the trust you've built in your relationship over five years, look deep inside. You may find that your feelings are actually your own "self-sabotage" in action.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 January 2009):
I know you don't want to break your girlfriend's heart but are you content to use her till something better comes along?
If you would leave her for this girl then you have to admit you don't want to be with her and split up with her.
Yes it will be horrible and you will end up single and possibly alone for a while, but if you met someone NOW that was perfect for you then she probably would not be interested, as if a guy leaves his girlfriend for you, then he'l leave you for the next one. Plus she will also worry about being a rebound.
You having a girlfriend could stop you from meeting your perfect girl, but it is ALSO stopping your girlfriend from finding a man who would love her the way she deserves.
Sit her down and tell her your feelings have changed. You are not doing her any favours by staying with her.
Good Luck!! xx
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