A
female
age
41-50,
*ayne1983
writes:My boyfriend likes to spend hours on the phone everyday he phones me about 20 times a day, this is driving me mad and I don't want to spend all the time on the phone he thinks it's because I don't want to be with him anymore which isn't the case it's just I want time to myself, I have tried to explain but he doesn't seem to take any notice and still calls all the time. How do I get through to him that my life doesn't revolve around my mobile phone and answering all the time? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jayne1983 +, writes (5 November 2007):
Jayne1983 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
I want to thank you for all the help. I had a good chat with my bf and he has calmed down a lot now only phoning me twice a day sometimes less and I now get time to myself and evenings to meself, it's been a couple of weeks now and all seems to be going ok. Thanx again.
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Stina hit the nail on the noggin. He sounds insecure and needs to get a life . . . outside of keeping tabs on you.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Hi Jayne,
Have you tried talking about this with him in person? Have you tried to bring it up in a gentle way - without sounding annoyed, etc but rather concerned for the relationship? He might feel bad about you not wanting to take his calls because of the way it's brought up.
If you have already tried to do talk about this in the nicest possible way, then I guess the next step would be to only answer the phone when it's convenient for you. Cell phones are meant to be used conveniently by the person who owns it, it's not supposed to be a tracking device for everyone else. If he asks why you "avoided" his phone calls, just tell him it's because it was not convenient.
It sounds like he's really insecure. Other than just speaking about the phone issue, have you tried to figure out the reason why he feels he needs to always be in contact with you? I think you need to get to the core of the problem and address that - then then phone issue will probably go away on its own.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Tell him that its interfering wth your life and its irritating, say he should cut the calls down to 2 a day one in the morning to say good morning and one at night so you have stuff to talk about,if it doesnt work tell him that his constant calling makes you feel he doesnt trust you
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Hello Jane 1983.
it seems that your boyfriend is very insecure,you are going to have to get the fact across to him that he is causing you problems by phoning you all the time, assure him that your relationship is ok, then if he persist have it out with him, tell him how annoying it is becoming to you,and is affecting your life, if you cant get him to change his way then maybe its time you changed your boy friend, because you dont want a phone stalker in your life.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Try to explain again, tell him not to call so many times in the day. Tell him that your feelings for him have not changed, its just sometimes you don't always have the time to talk. If this does not work then maybe you should try turning your phone off and certain periods during the day.
Take care x
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