| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I probably sound paranoid but just need reassurance of that.A few days ago it was my b-day and my b/f calls me at a time when he knows i will be getting out of the train. He never calls me at that time. His cell isnt in perfect condition but he still gets calls etc. And i spoke to him earlier. I call him about an hour later and no answer. I call an hour or more after that and no answer and he calls me when he is in the car on the way to get me. He said he never got those calls but whenever i called him today its working fine..Should i worry that he was with someone else or something? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (17 August 2006):
 Irish! Excellent answer, you really are an amazing woman!
To the question asker - heed Irish's advice as what she is saying about these insecurities is exactly true. I used to be the same - obsessing over missed calls, him being late home etc and it nearly drove us apart. There was ALWAYS a logical explanation for these things, it is just our minds that create the negative, then we find ourselves spiraling down until the negativeity consumes us and that is all we think about.
In the end, I just had to get over myself and stop being so damn negative, and I tell ya, it is such a relief to not think the bad before the good all the time! Always give him the benefit of the doubt until you have concrete proof that he is doing you wrong.
Be strong and confident, love yourself and concentrate on the happiness in your relationship! Trust me, life is much more beautiful that way. xxx
A
male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (17 August 2006):
 Did the phone ring? Cos if it didn't, maybe he just forgot to switch it on. That happens to me sometime! Someone not picking up their phone is hardly any evidence so I think you shouldn't worry about it. Atleast you know what to get him for his next present;-)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): No, you shouldn't worry because this will ride on your nerves and it will inevitably destroy your relationship. You have no concrete evidence nor basis to suspect him of cheating except a few missed phone calls. If this is the first time this has happened, then give him a break! Dear, you seem to be riddled with insecurity, mistrust and dependency in this relationship and you run the risk of becoming a pain in the butt. Be strong, be confident and don't allow negativity to rule your relationships with men. Dear, as women we all 'lose it' at one time or another. Our insecurities grab ahold of us and we have a hard time shaking them off. You are acting fearful and I stress to all women...why do this to yourself? Rationalize this out and think clearly. You are dwelling over fears of negative judgement and failure with this relationship over a few missed phone calls. And when you are stressed...you will obssess. And for what purpose? Neediness? Fear of losing a guy? Desperate attachment? All of that is very irrational and unattractive. So, you have a choice, move on from this and gain some self-confidence...or you can allow this to keep letting wearing on you. Take a happy, positive attitude about this relationship, smile happily and bring a wealth of fun and joy to your relationship, by being a happy person and stopping this mindset. Put all the fears aside and realize 'love is a risk'. We can't allow it to consume us.
...............................
|
