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*iverloser
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. I haven't ever been able to have an orgasm during sex. But, this has been the case for all of my life. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but my BF did. He said that before we get married, he wanted to sleep with other people. He said that he had to know that he could satisfy someone. I decided that if I were to not allow it, it would probably happen without me knowing. Plus, although hurt, I respect the fact that he asked. I agreed for both of us to be free, for a while, to sleep with whomever we choose. My BF went and stayed with family, for a month, and in that time, there was no one. Then, he came back to town. We live with a woman who has been kind enough to take us in, a friend of his father's. My BF slept with HER. I was not surprised. EVERY MAN IS IN LOVE WITH HER. But, I expressed my hurt and anger, and I got over it. We were ok, again. Then, he asked (the day he was leaving to accompany her on a business trip) if the two of them could do it again. How could I say no in that situation?Is that why he asked me? Because he knew I couldn't forbid it, with them going away together? When I found out about the first time they did it, I asked every question that came to my mind, and he answered EVERY SINGLE ONE.He says that he didn't have much experience, before me, and that is the reason he wants to sleep with other women NOW. He says that he fears that if he doesn't, he will want to someday ( when we're married ), and it would ruin our lives. Of course, I haven't exercised my right to anon sex. If I were to do that, the only reason would be retaliation, and that's not acceptable to me. That's not what I want, and i think it would make me feel worse. I don't understand the whole thought process, though. Is it really possible that he LOVES me, and yet wants to sleep with someone else? What about the fact that it was the woman we live with? Isn't that a little messed up? If I believe him, that he just wants to know that he can satisfy someone, am I being naive?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): Yes, it is possible. It's not a question of may or mayn't. A man, a guy, a male, no matter how madly he is in love with a woman will ALWAYS be attracted to other attractive women throughout sexually active life. That's how men are.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): It is a natural thing for many male speicies in the nature to spread their sperms to extend their territory(heritage), meaning that the male has a desire to have sex with many women. Society, however mostly takes this fact as immoral and think that marriage or relationship should be faithful to only one person when our natural instinct says otherwise. Personally, my oppinion is neutral on your BF. I think for being a guy myself, he is being really really honest about himself. Yet, I also worry the natural instinct is somtimes to dangerous to society with a set values. It may be harmful to your relationship.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): i think by showing his loyalty, in a way, he is ditching u. its better u search for somebody else
good luck
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): Tell him to f**k off. What a load of old cobblers. He should be putting all of his efforts into getting you there and learning with you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2005): Go get another boy friend, because eventually your life is going to be mess up if you marry him. Unless if you are willing to share your lofe with the other woman.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (16 June 2005):
 One of the fundamental rules in making a relationship work is being faithful no matter what.
Yes, I don't know about you being naive as you know what is going on but you are being far too accepting of what he is trying to do.
No matter how he dresses this up (you know, with answering all your questions and asking your permission) he is being unfaithful!
If he really wants to know if he can satisfy a woman, then he should work at your sexual relationship with him, not go off and screw someone else, to put it bluntly!
Okay, so he may not being able to bring you to orgasm but many women are unable to orgasm during intercourse but it doesn't mean to say that they don't find sex satisfying!
He needs to grow up and either stick with you and try to make it work or finish the relationship and go and sow his wild oats without hurting you in the process.
He is making excuses to have sex with someone else. Don't stand for it. Tell him to either shape up or ship out. If he loves you, he will respect how you feel and understand your emotions on this. He should also appreciate how lucky he is to have a girlfriend like you.
If he really is uncertain about this satisfying a woman business, let him know how he makes you feel in bed. Help him to understand that not all women orgasm and it doesn't mean to say that he isn't any good in bed.
If he still wants the proof that he is a capable lover by going with someone else, tell him to do it without you waiting for him to return.
Good luck.
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