A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:after dating someone steady for almost 3 years, breaking up two times, can this relationship be rekindled? once a relationship has gotten very intimate can you really start over like it was when you first started dating the person? my bf says that he wants to rekindle it but only wants to see me two times a week compared to seven days and nights before. we are very close and it is hard for me to understand how we can go back to just 2 nights a week. please tell me someone if this is possible and how long i should agree to just the 2 nights before it goes to more than two nights. thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): It really does depend on the context... my guy and I have been together for 4 years and we only really see each other a couple of times a week. We don't have a set number of times, like a rule, but that works for us as we both love our own space and our work schedules are such that it's better that way (he has to get up early & I have to work nights), so it keeps things fresh for us.
I've always believed in the saying that 'a candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long' which means a relationship where you see each other 24/7 is going to end up losing that spark a lot quicker than one in which you miss each other a little.
But in my case, we aren't afraid of making it more and it'll come to that eventually when we get married & end up living together, but we know that'll be the case when that happens and we're happy with that.
I guess you'll know if it feels right or not.. ask him why 2x only and whether he's seeing any kind of future in your relationship. If he wants to stick to twice a week indefinitely, that might rule out any kind of long-term thing, like marriage. Maybe he just wants to start it off that way so he can rebuild that 'zing' and start missing you and appreciating you more. If that's the case, he's got a good head on his shoulders.
But if you get any sense that it's because he's playing away, address that & get out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): I think you should give it a shot. If he is saying he wants to rekindle things than he obviously wants things to be better, just be careful that it is not just for sex on his part, dont actually say that to him but just make sure that on the 2 times you see him a week that its not just sex and then see you later. He probably loves you alot but also knows thats its been a rollercoaster and that maybe you guys haven't been connecting as much and he just wants to start fresh. If things are going well and you 2 really end up "rekindling" things than the whole 2 times a week thing wont last long. Dont put a time limit on it before it even begins, just see how it goes and if it goes on for too long than re-assess the situation then, but I dont think its a good idea to put limitations on things before you even give it a chance to happen. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so he may end up deciding pretty quickly that it is killing him to only see you two times a week. good luck
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 he is either in or out. why does he want to see you only 2 times a week? are you sure he is not just looking for the sex from you? think about this and ask him why he wants it this way. personally i dont think this is fair to you and you deserve to know exactly where you stand in his eyes. if you are uncomfortable with these 'rules', then you should not get back with him as it will probably only end with you resenting him. like i said talk to him and see how he feels and then make up your mind. i definitely think you have a right to know why he only wants this time with you. good luck hun, im only an email away if you wanna talk xx
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A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 he's laying out guidelines? seriously?
a relationship shouldn't be put or fixed to a timetable and no doubt it'll make you question what he's doing for the 5 nights he's not with you.
if it's been a rollercoaster relationship maybe it's time to let sleeping dogs lie?
talk to him and explain you're confused with regards to the rues and regulations.
good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Just make him express his love for you, he just trying to punish you thats all.
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