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female
age
41-50,
*unshine2
writes: I am dating this guy whom I love alot. Ive only been dating him 5 months and we are already fighting. I honestly think its me who is starting all the arguments. Maybe its because of my insecurities of my last relationship thats making me scared that I am going to lose him. I just feel like he takes me for granted, that when I am upset and need to talk about somehin that he upseted me by he gets all flustered and says he can't take it anymore. We recentley had a huge fight which caused us to kind of break up. Basically on a night like lets say new years, i wasnt feeling well and i was tired so my boyfriend told me to take a cab home cuz he had to drive his friends home. Now is it just me or was that just rude. He picked his freind over me. A friend who he looks up too ("i don't know why, to tell you the truth" over me a girl who he is suppose to Love. Thats just the jist of the story. Recentley he's just been careless of my feelings. I feel he has no recpect for me. Q.My Bf always calls me when he get home from my house to let me know he got home ok, but the other night he didnt call me till 1am and he left my house at 10pm. I was so worried. I told him how i felt and he told me i was in wrong of how i felt. He ditched me yesterday too to go paint and didnt call me again till 1am. whats going on? How do i not get mad for his actions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Don't let baggage from the past ruin your future... thats the worst injustice you can do to yourself.
I know you were probably worried when he didn't call, but lots of guys don't even bother calling... maybe let him know in a sweet way such as "Oh sweetie, I was so worried, next time could you call me so i don't get scared" you'll be more likely to get an apologetic response that way.
It seems as though, and sorry if this offends, but ti seems you're a bit clingy, and guys don't respect someone who is chasing them like a puppy. Give yourself a little independence and he might be a little more into you... but nagging him constantly about little things is going to get the relationship nowhere fast.
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Hi Sunshine,
What u think is the problem in your relationship so far is a gap in communication between the two of you. I do believe in certain instance like on new year day, he should have let u know why he would rather take his friend home and not you.It could be that "Perhaps his friend came from some where very far off and would cost him alot to pay for cab fares and your own place was closer. maybe it will be tedious for him to drive u off and then down his friend especially if it was late. All he needed to do was tell you why, then perhaps smooth out words of affection and it wouldnt have caused a fight. I'm afraid he isnt reading you well and u arent letting him!
Again, calling u by 1am to let u know he is fine isnt that bad, especially if he wasnt disturbing u.Perhaps he needed to do other chores or get settled in before he calls.Just let him know that u would rather he calls u earlier cos u want to know he is fine, cos u love him alot like u said here. It is that simple u dont have to get mad really!
I would advise u that u should try as much as possible not to let him feel u are being over possesive cos to me he seems like the type that doesnt like being monitored and wants his space. If he does know it will bridge the gap further between the two of you.
Talk to him calmly and explain your fears and work on things together.
Take care dear.
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