A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while now. At first our relationship was amazing we did everything together and saw each other everyday.I understand that wears off after a while. But now he never texts me, never rings me, i have to do all the chasing. He hasn't been to my house in over a month. He tell's me he is gonna see me then i have to text him to find out he is going out with his friends. But the odd thing is when he see's me he is lovely again. Like nothing is wrong. I tell him over and over that i want him to communicate with me, i drop hints all the time. And it doesn't seem to get through. I even leave him voicemails telling him to call me back an he doesn't. His excuse is sorry i'm rele busy at the moment. He isn't cheating i know that, but i really don't know what to do.Any advice????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): If you have told him repeatedly - both directly and by hinting - how much it bothers you that he never gets in touch with you first and his behavior has not changed, I think you should seriously think whether you want to continue the relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): Hi I am having similar problems, although I have only been seeing mine for a couple of months. It could be that you're settling in to the post honeymoon stage, but the lack of communication doesn't bode well for the future. In my case, we get on so well when we're together, we spent a lot of time together up until about 2 weeks ago. He works 12 hours a day, 7 days a week so I understand that he is busy and tired but I'm getting kind of annoyed at being let down at the last minute and him rarely calling or replying to a text. The problem is, I think it's far too soon in the relationship to put any pressure on him by confronting him over it. I'd like to know if he's still interested (like I said, when we're togther I know he is but when we're not...) but I don't want to scare him off either. This dating lark is no fun!!! Any answers would be appreciated!
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A
female
reader, evian..! +, writes (11 September 2007):
maybe he doesnt want to be int he relationship but maybe he's the kind of guy wich doesnt need 2 phone u all the time tell u he loves u all the time and all tht if u no wot i mean ?. speak to him again and really let him c ure concern how its jepordising ure relationship but ashore him that u dnt think hes cheating . or u cud leave him for a few days and let him realise then run after u maybe hell realise and itll change but dont go back chasin and phoneing him all the time. GOOD LUCK :)
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (11 September 2007):
 I was going to say communication is the key here, but you are and are still not getting through. From what you have said sounds like he is not sure whether he still wants this relationship or not, but is unsure of what to say to you. I really feel you are going to have to go all out and take him to one side. Be firm and stern and ask him outright if he still wants this relationship to continue. Don't beat around the bush, obtain the answer you want, then at least you will know where you stand.
Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): I am going to be really, really straight up with you, hun. A guy can tell a female he loves that he is too busy to call and if she believes him, then she's in serious denial-she needs to come back down to reality. What he told you is a crock. With speed dialing and cellphones, computers and even plain old landline phones...how long does it take to dial a phone? And here's another fact. Males are like us females. The want to be happy in their relationships and when they care about a female, they call and they call a lot. They love to hear her voice, be in contact, daily with the loved one they adore. Your guy should never be that busy that he can't simply dial 7 little numbers and check in with you, once a day. Remember his actions are telling you something here. You are worth having a guy share and make this relationship mutually loving, as you are doing. Don't let his words of "I'm too busy, or I forgot, I couldn't get to a phone' fool you. Set a boundary here of what you will and will not tolerate. If he doesn't want to check in with you, daily and work hard at making this a mutually, equally loving relationship, then move on. He doesn't deserve you because if he's not calling you, he's not respecting your feelings and needs. Tell him no more of this. If he can't make the simple efforts then you had better re-evaluate this relationship and fast Plain and simple.
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