A
female
age
30-35,
*olly_pop
writes:hi there, i dont know what to do. on the 14th august my family and i and also my boyfriend for nearly a year are going on holiday to florida, the other night he said he didnt want to come with me. i cant change his mind and dont no what to say to him. i was really looking forward to going with him and i dont think i will enjoy myself there without him. he says its the money because he wants to use his spending money on starting up a new business even though he has forked out £800 on a flight and will loose that. he is being really nasty about it and im so confused because he was really loolking forward to it! i have offered to lend him the spending money untill he gets back on his feet but i feel that it is such a waste and it is not only a holiday but a trip of a lifetime. im so upset with him and all he can seem to do at the moment is let me down. i really want him to come but what can i say to him to make him change his mind?please help me, thanks.Holly
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female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (7 August 2007):
 I am sorry to say, but I think what he is really saying is that he no longer wants to be with you. He is willing to just chuck $800 out the window and refuses to go on the trip with you and your family. This is a HUGE red flag that the relationship is over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): Holly, the simple answer is, you can't. If he is prepared to drop £800 already spent, then I'm afraid that can only mean that he really doesn't want to go. My advice is not to nag him, go and enjoy yourself (yes you can, if you try!) and see if he is still around when you get back; but don't, whatever you do, start pleadinging or persuading him, or you will just end up sounding needy.
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