A
female
age
30-35,
*ioleteyez
writes:So, My boyfriend and I have been having intercourse for 5 months and i cant orgasm. I've been having sex for four years and never have. I'm okay with it, but my boyfriends not.... He gets very upset and tells me to believe in myself that i can. How can i get it through his head that only 30% of woman orgasm during sex?
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female
reader, 911help +, writes (20 July 2007):
 If you want to orgasm, try doing it yourself first. You have to be very confortable with your body, sex, and trust the person you are with. I started masturbating when I was your as and was able to orgasm, but I didn't orgasm during sex until I was about 21. The only person who has been able to make me orgasm during sex is my husband. There are two types of orgasms.....clitoral and gspot. I still have never had a gspot orgasm because I am not comfortable with that yet, but could of many times and stopped my partner. I believe all woman are capable of having a clitoral orgasm, but only when they are comfortable with their bodies, sex, and their partners. I hoped this might of helped. Good Luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): Can I just say to the anonymous male at the bottom, who the hell do you think you are? If you don't agree with what she does with her life then keep it to yourself! This site isn't here so you can judge the vulnerable people who ask questions looking for help. If you are "not prepared to answer an adult question to a child" then why bother to just judge her and leave her in no better position she was before you insulted her. I think YOU should be ashamed of yourself for scolding a girl who came on here looking for advice! And its 'Truly' not 'Truley'.
Violeteyez, tell him that some women just don't orgasm. Simple as that. It's nothing to do with his performance and it doesn't mean that you don't enjoy sex (insert compliment to him here, wouldn't hurt to boost his confidence) you simply don't orgasm and it's not a huge deal as long as you yourself is ok with it. Good luck!
And I'm sorry that man was so rude to you. Some people just aren't taught manners. xxx
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A
female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (20 July 2007):
Hi,
There isn’t much that’s MORE unsexy than trying to force an orgasm that just isn’t there is there? You are right, a lot of women don’t during sex. And often, when we do, it’s not that spectacular. I bet he has been with one or 2 convincing fakers in the past – which he wouldn’t believe in a million years of course! It is sometimes hard to convince a man that sex is great for a woman even if she doesn’t have an orgasm during the “main event”. Try telling him that in the past friends have said that they don’t either, and that this really is more ‘normal’ than having one. Your ‘failure’ to perform is bothering him because he will be thinking it’s his fault. So make sure you let him know how great he is in bed, and that you couldn’t be happier.
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