A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend got mad at me because i've been asking for more time with him. He finds time for everything else then I get an hour here and there. He said he cant keep arguing about this and now won't answer my calls. What do I do? We've been together almost 2 years. He doesn't understand I just want time with him. Help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2015): What exactly is the "everything else" he has time for? We do get set in our ways as we get older, I can certainly vouch for that. Does he run his own business? Have a demanding career? Full-time carer?
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 June 2015):
 So you are an AFTER THOUGHT, not a priority to him. And when you asked for more time, he is giving you the silent treatment....
I would consider this relationship to be over.
I wouldn't be content with an hour here and there either, so DO NOT feel bad that you WANT more and asked for more.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2015): "He doesn't understand I just want time with him. Help"
He DOES understand you just want time with him. He doesn't want to give it.
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A
female
reader, Aunt Charlotte  +, writes (24 June 2015):
It sounds like the communication and different expectations are an issue here. You say you have been dating him for two years. Was this an issue before? Or have things changed? I certainly don't think you have been unreasonable in requesting more time with your boyfriend, neither is he wrong for not wanting to. I think sitting down and discussing your feelings as well as what you expect from him is important. It is only from that point on you can both work on a compromise to suit both parties. You state he has time for everything else. Talking to him using statements starting with I feel will help with understanding and minimize defensiveness. He is not answering your calls. My recommendation is to let things cool down for a day or two, then schedule a talk. State your boundaries clearly, that you understand he is mad but its not ok to not take your calls. You should not feel you are unreasonable when you are requesting things from your relationship. It is about open communication, compromise and having the needs of both parties met. If he refuses to discuss it further, acknowledge your feelings or compromise then its clear its up to you whether you stay or go. Its up to us as to how we allow others treat us.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2015): If he won't answer your calls, stop calling. He he won't spend more time with you, dump him. You can't force people to do what they don't want to do. If he can't find more time to spend with you; it's because you're not as important to him, as he is to you. Your request is unreasonable, if you're asking the wrong guy.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 June 2015):
 A couple of hours, say, each week??? Heck, that's all I have to spend to feed my neighbor's goldfish, when they take a vacation. Are you content to be "equal to" those goldfish?
(Dump him!)
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 June 2015):
 you leave.
you want time. He does not want to give time.
stop calling him.
stop asking to see him.
stop being available to see him when he asks or wants unless it's an activity (NOT SEX) that you want to do like going out to a movie or dinner or a concert.
other than that... get your own life, meet new people... use him like he's using you...as a place holder till something better comes along.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 June 2015):
 Some days you are reading the posts here and you think This is so typical for a teenager to feel like this. Then you look up at the age and it is 50's. Well this is a whole different thing.
Not answering your calls is a serious Red Flag. He seems determined that the relationship will not go further. With all the baggage he has in his life there is no room for the relationship you want and need.
If he should decide to patch it up with you, I would suggest one of these 2 books:
http://www.amazon.com/His-Needs-Her-Building-Affair-Proof-ebook/dp/B004HKIIBC/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1435082274&sr=1-1&keywords=his+needs+her+needs
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts-ebook/dp/B00OICLVBI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1435082254&sr=1-1&keywords=five+love+languages
You might want to get one in any case. A good place to start a new relationship.
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