| A
female
age
41-50,
*slandbecky
writes: My boyfirend hides chewing tobacco from me, and he still has pictures of his ex-gf on his computer. Am I crazy to think he's hiding his past because he's not over her? I just hate that he's hiding stuff from me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): Sit down and have a good chat with him and ask him why he feels the need to hang onto photos of his ex on his computer. I don't think i would like it if my bloke held onto photos, but my bloke got rid of most before i moved in, the rest he binned once i got there. You two need to TALK, if he still keeps them then let him know that you are not happy with that. I wouldn't be.
Chewing tobacco - Well it's his health - if he cannot see the danger - Mouth Cancer for one, then that is up to him!!
Take care
xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006):
He probably is 'hiding stuff' because he perceives you as being intollerant. Is there any basis for that perception?
Chewing tobacco is his business. Pictures from an old romance are his business too- would you rip all the pages out of your diary about your prom date? Its your business if he still has an acive realtionship with her- which you can simply ask about by saying "we are at the point where we are exclusive, right?"
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (11 December 2006):
 Hiya,
I understand how u feel, i would be concerned myself if i saw a pic of an ex in my boyfriend pc. But first i have to ask when did u guys start dating? They could be several reasons for him having her pic maybe it was an amicable split, or u might be right he hasnt gotten over her or if u two have only started dating quite recently it could also be that perhaps he hasnt gotten to taking the off the pic yet. Ask him about it.
Also, how often does he really chew tobacco. If it isnt his usually habit it might explain why he didnt feel the need to tell you. I suggest u try to find out why he has kept this from you.
Try to get him to communicate with u alot. Create an atmosphere where he can approach u with anything and you approach him as well.
Take care dear
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