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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My BF has 2 red marks on his neck. They look like pimples only larger and flatter. They are close together. You could almost compare it to a vampire bite. What could they be?Background: He was supposed to come and see me this afternoon. He usually spends Wednesday afternoons with me. But yesterday he texted me to say he will be coming over in the morning and have to leave earlier because he has a lunch meeting with clients downtown. Funny how when we talked on Monday there was no mention of a meeting and he said he'd see me Wednesday as usual.He came over this morning and stayed only a couple of hours before needing to catch a train downtown. We had sex. I noticed that the sex was not like usual. He came quickly and usually he does not. We had at least another hour and he would always hold off and please me for as long as possible. But today for some reason he did not put as much effort into it and came quickly. That was that. He left to go downtown for his meeting. I did not see him again until tonight and that is when I noticed the marks on his neck. By the way, I am absolutely positive that they were NOT there this morning. I would bet my life on it. He said he has no idea where they came from and was evasive. He went on about how he has no idea. So somewhere in between seeing me this morning and again tonight these two mysterious marks just suddenly pop up on his neck. He commented they could even be bug bites. Yeah, right.Last time he went "downtown" he came back acting strange. This time he has physical evidence on him. Is it possible he had sex or was with another woman this afternoon? Me in the morning and her in the afternoon? Do men actually do that? Something this despicable? Two women in one day?? He had an orgasm with me. I already have trust issues and he probably did not cancel to have sex with someone else because he thought I'd be suspicious. Well what about marks on the neck?? He even said himself they don't look good!!! Bug he has no idea what they are or how they got there!!!I asked him for proof. He has a receipt for the lunch but that does not prove anything. He explained his whole time line. When I said I will call his business associate who he said he was having lunch with he did not seem happy with that. He said why would I? It would look weird to his associate that I was inquiring about his whereabouts. I am not sure what to do. At this point I feel he cheated and we are going on vacation together next week.Just not sure what to think. What to do. I am upset and have been crying ever since I got home. I feel like it's hickies and I can't believe he did not even try to hide them knowing how suspicious it looks or even notice. He knows I notice everything.Would men be that big of asshole to actually have sex with 2 women in a day?Lately he has complained of being more tired sexually. Slowing down and not having as much stamina as before. He used to always love my high sex drive and could not get enough. Just odd that changed and he has been in a bad mood the past couple of weeks. Like something is wrong but he won't say.I just don't get it. He always said I am all he wants and needs.I just need to stop crying. I have had to take anti anxiety pills due to the worry he has been causing me and now this.We had it out tonight over this. I almost left him. What do you think?I sure hope someone can help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2016): OP again.Sorry, forgot to mention that I am still holding onto some resentment towards him for this. It appears to him I have moved on from it but deep down, I am still angry at him. And I still am holding on to my belief he cheated on me.We are going away together tomorrow for almost 2 weeks. How can I let it go so that it does not affect my mood on this trip? It's like I have put up this wall and have convinced myself he cheated and just dodged a bullet... by giving me some bullshit explanation.I just do not want to allow him to get away with it if he is doing it. He thinks I am trying to get the upper hand on him. Not sure what he even means.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2016): It's the OP with a follow up.He told me it's psoriasis. I never asked. He brought up the subject himself this morning. He was spring cleaning at his place and he brought me a few items that he thought I'd like that he never used. Not sure if he was feeling guilty about something. He has always had psoriasis and it has popped up in different spots on his body. He said it's the first time he's had it on his neck. He put a cream on it apparently that is supposed to reduce the symptoms and when I saw him this morning, it was greatly reduced in visibility compared to Weds. So from Weds to Fri morning, it almost disappeared.Not sure if it goes away that quick and I though psoriasis was always present in clusters. He only had a couple of spots on his neck where "it" was present.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 April 2016):
 Sweetie what actually makes you think that he is cheating on you? Where are your insecurities coming from? Is it from a past relationship? Is it you have no self esteem? Or does he treat you so badly that you cannot think he is only wanting you? There must be a reason for you being this insecure, do you think you would trust another man? Or is it just that you have a hard time trusting men in general?
The thing is, if this was me I would not be in a relationship with someone I couldn't trust. It just doesn't work. It doesn't sound like the marks on his neck where love bites and also I would be pretty annoyed as well if I had a partner wanting to ring and check up on me. I think you need to go and seek help and end this relationship until you can learn to trust.
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female
reader, miss frank  +, writes (14 April 2016):
We need more information. Why are you so suspicious? Are you naturally insecure in all relationships? If not, what has happened in this one to make you so? Are you on anxiety medication due to this one time or are you always on them? At first glance at what you have written, if you conduct yourself like this all the time with no reason then you really need psychological help because it sounds horrific, for both you and your boyfriend
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2016): Yes, a man is capable of sleeping with two women in one day.
Yes, this man is emotionally distant. Probably because he IS cheating and probably because the marks on his neck ARE from his extra curricular sex-capades.
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (14 April 2016):
He probably seems distant because he is upset that his girlfriend is treating him like a little kid and demanding to know where he is at all hours of the day and night. Threatening to call his coworkers to check up on him? Completely out of line. I'd be embarrassed and angry and ashamed of my spouse did such a thing. In fact they wouldn't be my spouse any longer.
I don't know whether your boyfriend is cheating. From your description those marks could be anything. I do know you need to be reasonable if you discuss this with him, or you are not going to have a boyfriend for very much longer, and rightfully so. Your behavior is downright abusive.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2016): Hickies are caused by burst capillaries beneath the skin due to intense pressure from lips sucking on the skin. They can look like anything from a localised rash to a bruise depending on the intensity of the pressure and the firmness of the mouth. They never look like two small holes or a vampire bite. I sincerely doubt your partner got bit by a vampire so I think a bug bite is actually the answer. As to him not knowing how it got there how many times have you started scratching your leg or arm for no reason until you look down and see a bite?You are obviously very worried about the possibility of your partner cheating and I think your anxiety and worry is making your mind exaggerate things, making everything he does seem suspicious when in reality it is perfectly innocent.He didn't like the fact you were going to contact his associates because it is a really bad idea. He has to work professionally with these people and you are airing out your personal dirty laundry in front of every one. If you really can not trust him to the extent that you are stalking him, following his every move and ringing up his work mates then you should really end the relationship right now as their is no trust. Plus how do you think he feels that you have so little faith in him, he probably feels hunted and hounded all the time being constantly accused of something he is most likely completely innocent of. How long would you put up with someone if they treated you the way you are treating him?
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