A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:After moving in with my bf he hasn't been very interested in sex - which wasn't the case beforehand. I posted a question here previously about this and got some good advice.Since then I have realised that my bf doesn't seem to value sex as a good use of his time. Everytime I give a hint it is like a shield goes up - he's busy or there's lots to do, or he has to do the dishes, or he has to have a coffee, or he wants to watch TV. It seems that there is always something that he "has" to do. I have tried spicing things up, I have tried being suttle and I have tried being outright obvious.I sort of raised the issue with him and he says I always choose a time when he is busy and not to take it personally. I wouldn't except on every occasion he is always busy with something. It is really hard to understand as a few times not long after we met and again very recently he told me in quite certain terms that I can do whatever I want with him whenever I want. He says this but then there is never a convenient time - and we are living together and spend hours with each other every day!I have had a hemmeroid in the worst possible spot for almost a year so haven't been able to have receptive anal sex. I sometimes wonder that maybe there being no chance of this reduces his interest?? Since the hemmeroid we have had oral sex and receptive anal sex for him - which he does very much enjoy - although I do know he really likes it when I receive him.He always has a chewy in his mouth and sneaks in cigarettes all the time and I suspect due to this avoids kissing me (except for a peck on the lips). I think maybe it he would kiss me or allow me to kiss him that this would get him in the mood more - but it just doesn't happen any more because he has either just snuck in a smoke (which maybe he thinks I don't know about) or has a chewy in his mouth.I just don't know. I really appreciate anything anyone has to say or what advice they have as I don't have anyone I can talk about this with. Thanks.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (29 September 2006):
 You need to tell him how you are feeling, I can imagine you are feeling neglected and this problem probably won't just go away.
You've got to ask him some serious questions as to why sex was important now it isn't? how he feels towards you romantically and sexually? if there is something bothering him that is maybe getting in the way of you two continuing your sexual side to your relationship?
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, Tine  +, writes (25 September 2006):
 well you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel, leaving no stone unturned etc. etc.
If you are feeling neglected he has to know about it and never mind his excuses, if this has been going on for as long as you have made out then there is definately a problem.
If he carrys on the way has been doing without making changes then tell him that he has left you no choice but to move out until things are solved and see how he reacts. Also ask him does he feel about your hemmeriod situation, does i tmake him feel uncomfortable or just uninterested?
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