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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a new boyfriend of 5 months. At first things between us were super then last month I started feeling neglected because he was making much less effort at our relationship. I have an ex-boyfriend who still cares for me and I still care for him and I was in love with him and hurt when he ended the relationship.The ex-boyfriend stopped seeing me because of a 3 year age difference. It has been a year since we broke up, but occasionaly he contacts me. I am a high school freshman and he is a senior. My new boyfriend is a sophomore. The ex wants back in and last wk. I let him come see me outside my home for about 30 mins. with friends present. The new boyfriend broke up with me for that but same day said he was sorry and loves me but then next day broke up with me again but then again same day said he was sorry again. He wants me to stop talking with my ex at school. I don't want to. I still care for my ex but want to be with my new boyfriend too. Every one tells me to go for the ex. They don't care for the new boyfriend. The kids that went to school with him and know him better says he is a @ss. The ex is a better person. Since I let the ex back into my life this past wk. the new boyfriend is making a bit more effort. There are pros and cons with both of them. I don't know what to do. Should I just stay with the new boyfriend and wait it out and see if he's going to try harder at our relationship? Or go back to an ex relationship that still has the same problem of the 3 yr age gap? Or should I really just take a breather from both of them and risk losing and not having a boyfriend?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): First of all, you are a freshman in high school. You will have the opportunity to have many more relationships in your life. Getting serious with anyone at your age is not wise at this time.
The 3 year age difference doesn't play out at all as the main reason for your ex to "break up" with you. There are other reasons he isn't telling you.
All of you are just starting to discover what dating is all about and you are in the initial stages of experiencing the highs and lows of "relationships". What you are really experiencing are infatuations with each other and mistaking them for true love.
My advice to you is to lose them both, especially the new boyfriend. He is very immature. The ex isn't that much further along, but he has learned how to play the "excuse game" better.
You have your whole life in front of you, don't get bogged down and serious with anyone now, enjoy yourself, experience different people, it will give you a better idea of what you do want and what you don't want.
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