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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We are in our mid 20s and have a 7 year old daughter. My boyfriend says he can't bond with her and she irritates him. He won't play with her or anything like that unless he's at his mum's. I don't know what to do for the best. Do I end the relationship? Will that do her more harm than good? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005): How did this situation come about? Did your boyfriend want this child? If your boyfriend is not 100% about your daughter and she "irritates" him, ask yourself (and if you're feeling brave, him!) why? Is there something your daughter does that grates on your boyfriends nerves? I suggest that you take the ultimate test: Go on a family holiday. If your boyfriend takes to your daughter more in a different setting, perhaps there's a chance this could become a fruitful relationship, but if your boyfriend still shows hostility towards your daughter, I would think very hard before getting in any deeper.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005): I think leaving would only make the situation worse. Leave your boyfriend with your daughter alone for a few hours and maybe they will bond because they will have no one else to seek. This will hopefully bring them closer.
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