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My BF didn't want me to date other guys at camp, but I only went out with one! Now I'm afraid he'll find out...

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Before going away to camp I asked my bf if I could go out with guys at camp, then just go back to my bf after camp. I told him that I would still write him and miss him like crazy,but he said no!!

So while I was at camp I didn't go out with any guys until the last week. But even while I was going out with this guy I still only loved my bf, and he's all I could think about, and talk about.

Me and this guy broke up but I'm still afraid that my bf will break up with me.

pls help

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A female reader, Amethyst United States +, writes (13 August 2006):

Amethyst agony auntNot to be harsh or anything... but why would you even consider it? That's cheating... regardless of whether he knew or not. In my opinion, he wouldn't really be too much of a boyfriend if he had said yes to that... that'd basically be him saying, "Well, I don't mind sharing you. Not like I care THAT much about you."

Couldn't you just hold out the week or so (how long was camp???) with the company of friends??? You knew you two would be together after it... and it wasn't like it lasted three years... and you said you care about him, and would miss him like crazy... but replacing him temporarily wouldn't help that longing...

*Shrugs* That's my view on it, but some people don't like to be alone and I know that. You got yourself in a sticky situation here... it depends on your boyfriend's view on things really...

See, there's the chance he'll never find out, but you'll feel the guilt of knowing that you did it even though he said no. But, you gotta know he probably had his insecurities after you asked that...

Then, there's the chance he does find out, and you'll have been better off telling him. If I were in your shoes, I'd go to him and cry, tell him how I regret it and wish I could go back and have never done it. I'd tell him that the whole time, I still only loved him, and it was stupid of me to even try and find someone, but I wanted to come clean about it, and that I will never do it again....

But that's just me... and if he broke up with me, I'd deal with it a while, but if he couldn't forgive me for it after I made the bold (and right, imo) step and confessed it to him, then I'd think maybe there was a reason that I thought about cheating on him.

But like I said, that's just me. Which do you think would work out better? Is there a high chance he's going to find out?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2006):

im the person who asked this question

ok i know i made a mistake and i cryed almost every night over it........but all i wanted was someone that i could rest my head on.....or to hug me when im sad, or cold.....i just missed having someone that really cares about me. i made out with this guy, and every time.....i dident really want to....but i figured it would hurt the guy i was going out with if i dident. our kisses were blank to me. sure it was fun to flirt and stuff with him, but every night, all i could think of was my bf back at home, and i would cry cause i messed up big time with him, hes all i could ever think of, or talk about. i know i shouldent have gone out with the guy at camp....but wut happens at camp stays at camp, we broke up right after we got off the bus, and now were only friends again. im going to tell him about the guy at camp.....and obiously only hope for the best.....but i really dont want to loose him!! i really really dont........hes soo importaint to me........he means everything to me..........

sure i went out with a guy at camp.....but to me camp is its "own world"......and i would never cheat on my bf with anyone in the real world.........to me its just camp........but i know to him........it will be like the real world.........and im afriad he wont understand that camp to me is its own world!!

i deffently screwed up.........

pls help if u can.......

the person who asked this question!

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A female reader, hugs2muchgal United States +, writes (13 August 2006):

hugs2muchgal agony auntsorry to say this

if you really love your boyfriend why would you want to date other guys?

i went to camp too, and my boyfriend told me i wasn't allowed to date anyone. even though i love him and would miss him i wanted a boyfriend so i could have company (is that why you wanted one?) and though i sometimes felt lonely when my friends were dating there, i didnt date anyone. because i realized that in a few weeks i wouldnt see these people again for a long time.

now if you and your boyfriend really love eachother tell him about what happened and hopefully he loves you enough to forgive you.

but was a camp guy worth ruining everything you have with your boyfriend? besides he said dont date anyone. how is only dating one different then dating ten?

you cant take away what happened in the past

but if you can except it hopefully you can work past it and tell your boyfriend how it was a mistake and meant nothing, and if you and camp boy didnt do anything you can just call it a close friendship of sorts.

i'm sorry if i am harsh but you have to deal with this mistake. and if you are dating someone and you are in love can you honestly expect they want you dating other people?

i wish you the best of luck with your boyfriend, remember honesty works better than trying to hide this.

tell me how everything goes!

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A female reader, tyler's_cowgirl +, writes (13 August 2006):

tyler's_cowgirl agony auntNo offense, but if you loved your boyfriend as much as you say you do why would you even bring up dating another guy while still dating your boyfriend... seems kinda weird to me, and technically it is considered cheating. If i were in your position i'd tell him, even though the inital blow may hurt him, but in the long run it will be better than harbouring your secret forever...

Best of Luck, Tyler's_Cowgirl xox

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