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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend doesn't like talking about sex, let alone performing. I don't know what to do. I have tried all kinds of techniques and nothing is working. What can I do to make him wild? There is one other problem: he cums too quickly. It feels as if we have only just started when we end up finishing. It is making me feel so down and unattractive. Can you suggest anything? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2005): I am a man of 46 years and married for 25 years and has the same problem. I do oral sex to my wife first and when she is almost there then I penetrate and have a good time. Men don't talk about their problems, we are too proud. You must try it. Hoping you the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2005): One other quick suggestion - if you want to, consider beginning by giving him oral sex, or with your hands, to make him come once (and it will happen pretty quickly). Then, when he makes love to you, he will be much slower coming, because coming the second time takes much longer.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (26 March 2005):
 Your boyfriend is probably just embarrassed about sex generally, and that's compounded by the fact that he has a very common young man's complaint of being too quick on the draw, which is making him even more sensitive about the subject.So this isn't going to be one of those problems that you can solve by sitting down and having a heart-to-heart, because you already know he doesn't like talking about it, and discussion is just going to make him feel more inadequate.Under these circumstances it might be best to try to address the issues non-verbally. When you're feeling sexually inclined, encourage him to give you oral sex, or some other method that allows you to keep up your level of sexual arousal without him risking losing control. Also try using different positions. The stopping and starting should allow him to hold back and keep going for longer.Get yourself a sex-toy and show him how you use it, but make him promise not to touch you until you're... er, through. That should solve both your problems in one go. It'll drive him wild and keep him from finishing before you really start.Whatever you do, don't let this small difficulty make you feel "unattractive". If anything, I always regard a man's inability to control himself as something of a compliment. Keep a sense of humour about things and be creative. He'll love you all the more for it!
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