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male
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*lyboycaver
writes: My BF and I have been in a relationship since September of 2004 and had originally met online (gay.com) and was in a long distance relationship. After about 4 months of being in the long distance relationship mutually we decided to move away from our families to be together. We moved into the home of a couple we know and lived with them for about 6 months until we decided it was time to move closer to home and in the city; we have since lived in the new location for about 1 year and some months. My BF and I were in a great relationship, so I thought, until the last couple of weeks I noticed he has been online chatting and sending quite lengthy emails to the one guy I informed him about was trouble. My BF even stated the other day someone wanted to buy a pair of his used underwear and he was thinking about selling them to him.The final straw was drawn the other night while I was reading his email (we both made an agreement we would know each other's passwords to everything and could check at anytime), meanwhile I have never had to check his email because I could trust him, but have been seeing changes in his behavior which alerted me to start researching the problem. While I was reading his email he informed the one guy that I am upset by that if he were single he would treat him like a prince.Yesterday, I logged in and saw an email where he asked the other guy if he would ever go on a date with him and the other guy responded yes. When I addressed all of this with my BF he told me he and the other guy were just friends and nothing more. I asked him did he still love me he said yes, but how does he know I am right for him when there are so many others out there.I am confused, lost, and really unsure what I need to do. I love this man so much that I am putting myself through all of this, but I know in my heart that he may not ever stop doing what he is doing. He informed me last night he wished he only had a week to date around and see if there is anyone else out there for him and if not he would come back to me. He even suggested an open relationship.I am strictly an individual who wants to be loved and be in a monogamous relationship, but am unclear what I need to do.Do I call it quits and move on, or do I fight for him because I love him so much.Any advice from anyone who has experienced this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): Hi,Wow, I feel for you. But really what I would do is to sit down and talk to him about it seriously: "Are we still meant to be together?"If he says yes, then you have to come clean that you can only perform a monogamous relationship. Mono meaning one.If you make concessions, he will cheat on you. That is guaranteed. A date is a date- and you do not date when you are currently involved.You need to think of yourself, too. If he cheats and you guys have unprotected sex, how can you be sure you will stay as healthy as you are now? Nip this one in the bud, quick!
A
male
reader, lboy  +, writes (11 December 2006):
 dear reader,
i say fight, if this guy means that much to you then no-one else should get in your way, i am in the same kind of situation with my BF he's bi and has a GF who wants him to herself but i love him so much i'm willing to do anything to keep him. so i say you keep up the fight for your man, this other guy is just like a thorn in your side that can easily be pulled and put behind you. don't worry if your BF loves you and says he does then there is not much chance of him leaving you or you leaving him.
good luck
lboy
xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): have a break and let him free if you love him. its like the saying "if you love them set set them free, if they come back it was meant to be". My cousin dumped her long term boyfriend for a year, got back together(after a year and a half) and two years later i.e.now they're getting married. If you want to settle into a life where he knows what hes got in relation to whats out there he might feel more settled. worse if ten years down the line he felt so trapped he did a runner and never came back, and even if he wanted to then he could not. Dont be made a fool of though, if you become base camp for bed hopping get rid of, and respect yourself
chi-how
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): your story is quite a petty. I will advice you to do something fast about that. You have his cell phone number right? I want you to break into it and see if he is inlove with any other girl out there. The same happened to me and I did it and told him that is that because of so so so girl he want to break my poor heart. That I will love to leav with him forever That if by any means i have offended, I am sorry. i wich you good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Your bf sounds like he's player material, not that he is one at the moment. This is kind of a tough one, cuz you love him so much and from the sound of it, you don't want to let him go, even though you're asking if you should. I guess if there were 20 replies in here saying you should, then you might, but most likely you won't get that many replies.
The thing is, here lies the real dilemma - he is unsure about his long term prospects with you, because there are so many other people out there he haven't had the opportunity to experience with. It's like you're a race car driver for the LeMan's GT2 - if you've only test drove a McLaren, you would always wonder if the Mercedez or the Porsche would have been better suited for your driving style.
What you can do is take a 'break' from him, allow him to 'test-drive' these other cars, and in the end, if he feels that the McLaren (you) is definitely suited best for him, then you can accept him back, etc. Otherwise, you can either simply let him go, or stay with him. The thing is though, if you stay with him, there might be a higher possibility that he may get tempted to test drive those other cars, possibly even cheating on you.
Ultimately, obviously, this is up to you. After reading this, what do you think? You're heartbroken no doubt, but what are you willing to do?
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