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anonymous
writes: Hi, Im currently in a relationship with my boyfriend and we are thinking about moving in together. The problem is, is that I work in southport and he is getting a flat in Liverpool so I can transfer. But the bigger problem is that I'm only 16 and my mum doesn't know about me and my boyfriend because I know she wouldn't approve. I was thinking of just going and leaving a message with my mum to tell her I have moved and will ring her soon.I love him very much and really want to live with him, but I need some advice on what to do. Please help me. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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reader, confused +, writes (30 March 2005):
speak to your mum. at the end of the day though your 16 and your old enough to make your own decisions if you want to be with him then you should follow your heart but you need to make sure that the relationship will last when you move in together.
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reader, Soul sister +, writes (30 March 2005):
If you know your mum won't approve just explain how much you love your b/f then your mum will take it into account and she may even understand how you feel and why you want to live together. Eventually your mum will approve and it may even be straight off that she will approve.Good luck with whatever you decide however long it takes your mum will back you up 100%.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 March 2005):
 I know that you want to take that big step and move in together, but you can't have it both ways. You can't be expected to get adult benefits and still duck your responsibilities like a kid would.Either you're mature enough to make adult decisions in all aspects of your life, or you're not. Age 16 is a tough time for everyone, because you really, truly believe with all your heart that you know what you want and that you're on the brink of adulthood. Unfortunately, if you take a poll of any group of 20-30 (or 40) year-olds and ask them if they have the same opinions as they held at 16, you risk deafness from the hooting laughter.If you're 100% certain that you want to move in with your boyfriend, there's a good chance that you can and will do it. However, depending on where you live, you may not be able to enter into a legal contract, so at best you may only be a roommate with him. This can have legal repercussions on your rights as a tenant and on joint property that you and your boyfriend might buy together. You might not want to believe that this is important, but if things go pear-shaped (and statistically, there's a good chance of it), then you could end up without a home or some of your possessions. Give this some thought and do your research.Now, before you make the move, you must ABSOLUTELY tell your mum, in person. Because you're not a legal adult - and especially if you're boyfriend is - your mum could conclude that you've been coerced into (ie: kidnapped) going with him. This could turn into a major problem, with police involvement! The only way to avoid the possibility is to speak to your mum, in person and tell her what you're going to do. Anything less is not only potentially troublesome, but disrespectful to the woman who raised you. She deserves at least the courtesy of an adult discussion, right? Furthermore, you don't want to burn any bridges, do you? What if you suddenly find yourself out of work and without money? It would be nice to think you can go back home until you get back on your feet. If you leave under disrespectful circumstances, you limit your future options.I reiterate: if you expect to be making adult choices, you can't choose to "opt out" when the logical response is is difficult to face.
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