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female
,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend hooked up a few weeks ago. The problem with our relationship is that we both are incredibly SHY! I've tried talking to him but then I just freeze and stand there. Don't get me wrong I love my boyfriend but I also want this relationship on a higher level. I also want it to be at the point when we can hug, kiss,and hold hands with each other,but at this point our relationship is NO WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME OUT!!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2005): Hey there,I know exactly how you feel! I myself am also shy and so was my ex bf. We went out for 5 months, 5 months! And nothing happened. Emotionally we werent close or phsyically. But ive learnt alot from it, so heres my view...If you realy do want to help this relationship and are really into him then maybe you are going to have to take some risks, because someone has to be the first to make a move and you cant guarentee your bf will so maybe you should. but dont pressure yourself. or him. Take little steps, baby steps. This may require you to feel a bit uncomfortable, but just take a deep breath, because good things in life never come with ease, they take effort and risks! I think if you two are emotionally and mentally on the same level, then the physical side will come easier. Because once someone feels accepted and loved by there partner emotionally it will be a much more relaxed relationship. My advice to you is to open up to him. I know you are shy, but thats ok, everyone has a shy side, you just have to take that chance. I mean really what is the worse thing that can happen? its not like hes going to dump you, you dont fear that do you? To conquer the fear of talking to him and prevent the freezing and just standing there, take deep breaths and think positivly, thats the real key- positive thinking. So once you open up 2 him, he will more likely open up back to you.Or your other option is to just talk to him about it. I mean discuss how you feel shy and how he feels shy and just bringing the topic out into the open that you both feel shy and probaly nervous around each other will change alot you will find. If you cant say it in person, write it in a letter and give it to him. And let him reply to it in any form he wants- letter, face to face, phone, email, text message etc...whatever he wants. Its all about taking little steps and progressing to eventually having the fulfilling relationship you want. take care and good luck! Remmeber just have patience and im sure it will work out :)
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