A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I had a FWB for 6 months the sex was amazing I just got out of a long term relationship and he just enjoyed being single I didn't feel anything for him other than friends and him with me I started texting someone who I genuinely liked and it stopped from there It was more of a convenience thing than anything I did not want a one night stand and the sex was good.I told my friends about him but they never met or saw him we don't talk anymore as I moved on in a relationship and although I would of happily stayed friends without benefits if I were single I didn't want to continue to communicate with an ex sexual partner whilst with someone else and he was fine with that. Anyway my best friend of 8 years has just started to see a guy and I found out it's him! well I don't know for sure but they have the same name and job so let's assume! How the hell do I tell my friend? I don't know if he knows she's my friend I doubt he would from social media as I don't have it and I don't like people posting pictures of me so I'm sure she may have some from our teens but definitely nothing in the last 3 years! It wasn't her that told me it was a mutual friend .?she has told me she's seeing a guy called so n so but no further detail so I haven't had that awkward moment of silence or not admitting it! Our mutual friend doesn't know either. I obviously have no issue with it I'm happy for them I always thought they'd get on great I never thought they'd actually meet! Small world. I haven't spoke to this guy for 2 years now so it was a while ago.I don't know how she'll take it I don't want to ruin it for them but if I don't tell her n it gets serious that'll be our friendship done! Help! I know this might be friendship done either way because if she really likes him she might find it uncomfortable to have me around I'm so confused I wish I never met him I don't want to tarnish my friends chance at happiness.What is the best way to approach this
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female
reader, Xena Bee  +, writes (2 September 2017):
Wait for her to tell you his name and then say, "OMG, I hope it isn't the same guy I was seeing a few years ago! LOL" and laugh it off. She'll ask him and they'll figure it out and then figure out if it impacts them in any way. It might not. I just started to become good friends with one of my husbands ex-girlfriends from years ago. I'm secure in his loyalty, so it doesn't matter that they slept together. But if your friend and he become a serious item and it, somehow, comes out later that you two were together and you both hid it from her, it makes both of you look guilty when you shouldn't be. This is awkward, but manageable.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2017): If I was your friend, I would expect you to tell me.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (16 August 2017):
 I wouldn't mention it.
I'm in a similar situation myself at the moment where the girl im currently seeing I have slept with her best friend in the past. I had no idea they were friends as I didn't even know the girl I'm seeing now when I slept with her friend.
I'm assuming her best friend hasn't said anything either because its not come up in conversation. I don't think your friends new guy will want to mention it just as much as you don't so I wouldn't worry about it. If it comes out I'd play the 'I didn't want to ruin things for you' kind of approach. Because it's true really so I don't think you would be in the wrong.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 August 2017):
 Awkward!
Honestly? I wouldn't tell. UNLESS she brings him up (with the name) then you could say Oh I knew a guy called so and so a couple of years ago, small world.
Unless HE gave you an STD or you gave HIM one - why would you have to DISCLOSE to her that he was your casual sex partner? Does she require a list of all the guy you have slept with? All the women HE has slept with?
Why would she end a friendship over you not telling her? It was 2 years ago! You have moved on and into a new relationship. And they might or might not work out.
For now? I'd just sit on it. If you meet THEM (her and him) in person I'd just say hello how have you been?
I don't see the need for drama now.
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