A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My best friends girlfriend and i like each other.My best friend has been seeing this girl for a bout 3 months. i only met her 2 months ago. when i met her she seemed nice and i was purely trying to get to know her as a friend with my friends when we went out. The past month though she has sent me txts and when ive spoken to her she has told me she has feelings for me. i told her that nothing will happen because she is with my best friend but since i got to know her ive started having strong feelings for her. feelings ive never felt before for a women. i feel really bad baecause we both like each other a lot and we've admitted that but we both dont want to hurt my friend (her boyfriend). I have said that i think its best that she gives it a good go with her boyfirend (my best friend) and that if it doesnt work then we can start seeing each other if she is still interested in me which she said she really would be. What makes this even worse is that my friend is a great guy and rarely goes out with girls and when he met this girl all of my friends were over the moon for him as well as me. Some of my close friends know the score and think i should have done nothing and blanked my feelings but there is something special between us and its not the chase or the challenge its real chemestry between us and i just love beein with her. We havent acted on anything because we dont want to hurt my friends feelings by cheeting which is something i would never do.If anyone can shed some light on my situation i would really appreciate it.Cheers
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): meni have the same problem but the gir l live right aroun the coner from me so we talk alot but she shows signs that she likes me but we met her around the same time but he started talking to her first...????
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): that is a tuff one man.... um my advice is to analize who would be a better fit in the long run and explain it to your friend slowly how you feel....because some people are just destine to be together when it all comes down to it......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments. Its sometimes nice to know there are people out there who understand you. The situation now is that i told the girl that i liked her a lot and she said the same thing so i we both told my mate the situation. he is now gutted but says he saw it coming because we are so alike me and his girlfriend. however there were threats of her leaving to stop our friendship breaking up but i said that wont solve anything and make it worse.
It was quite heated and i couldnt bare to see my friend look the way he did. in 17 years of friendship ive never seen him so down so i asked her there and then if she wanted to be with me, she said no, i said do you want to be stay with my friend and she said yes. i bottled all my emotions and said that was ok and everything turned ok for them. i went home very down and trying to remember that at least they are happy. as for me i guess it wasnt to be. I have never met a girl like this and to be fair we both said to my mate if we had met under different circumstances we would probably be together which breaks my heart.
Im going to do my best now to move on but, it wont be easy. I really think we could have had something special.
Thanks for your comments anyway
appreciate it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): I have been in this situation before and yes it can work out.. however my boyfriend at the time and his mate did fall out and there was a lot of hassle with other freinds taking sides and usually they will side with the guy who has been dumped.
I just wonder though why is she still with him??
When i began to get feelings for my boyfriends freind and i knew he felt the same i split up with my boyfriend.
Why is she still with him, are they still having sex???
Be very careful... i don't understand she either wants to be with you or not??
If she were to splt up with him i would keep your relationship quiet for a while and go on dates just to ensure that you really do get on before you bring the relationship out into the open.
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A
female
reader, malvern +, writes (2 May 2008):
 You clearly think a lot of your best friend. Hard as it may be I would stand back and let his relationship run its course with this girl. It doesn't seem like it's going to last very long if she's spending her time texting you etc. If she's not sure about him she should end the relationship. She's not really being very fair with him. She seems to want her cake and eat it. Only make a move when the relationship is over and when you know he's got over it, otherwise you will lose his friendship forever.
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A
female
reader, rachybaby +, writes (2 May 2008):
Hi, i just had to reply to this question. ok first of all i am seeing my ex boyfriends best friend, and have been for over a year now. in one light we are extremly happy together, talking about marriage and he is totally the love of my life. on the other hand, neither me now my boyfriend talk to my ex now, so be prepared for that aswell. the question is, is she worth it? both me and my boyfriend seen that the other was worth losing our best friends over, and thats what happend. and yes it does upset me, but ive got him and thats all that matters to me. as for your friend rarely having girlfriends, well im sorry to say but the chances are you will fall out over this girl if you 2 do decide to make a go of things. but im a firm beleiver that if you truley are really good friends then a girl wont come between that. good luck and one last thing, if you think shes worth it, go for it, she could be the one! let me know how it goes, rachael x
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