A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm about to turn 22 in two days and I have never had a girl friend, never kissed a girl, and am still a virgin. It never really let it get to me before. Until last summer my best friend and his girlfriend started having sex. For about the first month after he just couldn't shut up about it. I would just tell him yeah that's great good for you, but on the inside I was thinking I hope you both get AIDS and die!!! Even though that could never happen because they were both virgins. Lastly to add insult to injury, he's three years my younger. Even now every once in a while he will say something like “so when going to loose your virginity” and it just gets under my skin so bad. It seems like he's just getting every thing I've always wanted served right to him all of a sudden. He doesn't deserve it!Just for the record I'm not a bad guy OK, I am about the easiest person to get along with you will ever meet I just get jealous sometimes. I hate that I have these feelings of violence and jealousy toward him but I cant help it some times. It doesn't help that valentines day is right around the corner ether (I hate that holiday with a white hot passion.).The thing is I just never really get the chance to meet anyone. I live out in the country, I haven't had a regular job for about a year, not in school, haven't been to church for two years, and growing up I didn't get the chance to meet a lot of people because I was home schooled. After I finished high school I decided to enlist in the nation guard which took up a year of my life until I was able to come back home. Then I decided to become an automotive technician because I love cars and at that time techs were in high demand so I enrolled in an automotive trade school. Fifteen months later, a week before I graduated GM and Chrysler died shutting down thousands of dealerships and flooding the job market with hundreds of thousands of highly experienced mechanics. Making getting a decent job impossible for new guy like me. But anyway do you see the pattern here, there are NO WOMAN anywhere I go.Although I am going to start some college courses soon.Even if I did meet some girls I wonder if thy would want anything to do with me. I would have no idea how to act in a relationship. It would be like if someone just threw you into a lake and told you learn to swim or die. It just seems like I'm so far behind everyone else in relationship and sexual skills and therejust isn't any way to catch up. The only way I can think to get out of this with all my pride, dignity, and honer intact is if I find someone one on the exact same level as me. The odds of that happening are lower then getting mauled by a polar bear and a great white shark in the same day. Never even mind all the relationship stuff, I 'd just be thrilled to find another virgin that's half decent looking. Well, I think I ended up writing the story of my life rather then a real question. So what should I do? I don't like bars and clubs(they over charge for drinks.) and church,well most church girls aren't a whole lot better these days .Maybe I've just lost faith in people. What do you think?Sorry this is so long but I really needed to get all this of my chest thank you.
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aids , best friend, both virgins, jealous, still a virgin, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): I know that there are virgins out there a lot older then myself. That's what scares the hell out of me. If I really do not like being a virgin now how am i going to feel eight years from now when thirty! I just couldn't take that.
I bet your thinking why the hell doesn't this guy just hook up with some random drunk chick and end his misery? There are three main reasons: 1. My brother got a girl pregnant in college and then had to raise it and its made his life ten times harder then it would have bin 2.I have this damn morale compass, its a pain in the ass but it keeps me out of trouble(it all so keeps me from heaving any fun) 3.I'm a christian and I've bin told all my life to abstain from sex till marriage and I am just realizing now how unrealistic it is.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010): I have a friend who is 27 and a virgin by choice - he has a wonderful girlfriend and they want to get married before getting more physical. And to be honest, I lost my virginity when i was 24 and a half. I think it happens when it happens, each to their own time scale etc. So don't fret, 22 is fairly young. Volunteering or joining some sort of hobbies club is good for meeting women. AS for the bragging mate, its more his problem than yours ... maybe have a word with him and tell him its your sex life, your business thus he should butt out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): Thank you for the advice. Your right I really do need to try to be more positive. But lets be honest 22 is pretty old for a guy to be a virgin in the U.S..
One more thing, we need to come up with a new word for men that haven't had sex. Every time I hear the word virgin I just cringe.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): You will be ok and trust me your turn will come By the way not all girls are bad and there are many good looking virgins out there LOL Also I think that a more experienced girl would actually do you better someone you can learn from Going to college is your best shot at meeting all kinds of people right about now. As a female my advice to you is try to be a little more positive go to college with an open mind meet girls but aim for their friendship rather then trying to go straight into a relationship and be honest explain you don't have much experience. Being the first in a men's life is a turn on to many girls so believe me you will be fine And yes you will catch up just fine STOP stressing!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): 22 is not all that old.
You say you are starting college in some days so you will meet them there. Another way of meeting people apart from churches and bars is to volunteer. Pick something you like doing and find an organisation that does it...
I don't think girls are very concerned about how experienced you are... So many of them talk casually about how its their man's first time but not theirs'... So don't let it worry you. When something has to happen it will.. Don't make it an issue.
And all of us know what to do in a relationship. We may stumble a bit but we find ourselves eventually and even then each relationship is different cause you cannot predict people. Mostly if you are slightly impulsive in displaying your love and keep to a code of decency that is enough.
And about your friend : nothing harrasses us more than friends who are too interested in what we don't have. Its a bit immature of your friend to brag about sex! He's probably trying to figure it out for himself... So be kind to him :) Freeze him out if he tries to talk to you about your sex life. Just freeze him out. He'll stop.
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