A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend, who has a long history of mental health problems and low self-esteem/anorexia, is claiming to be in love with a guy in his 40s who she hardly knows (who has a girlfriend) although she can't explain what she likes about him when I ask her. He looks young and is attractive and they have had sex on multiple occasions, however he has told her he only views her as a sex object. Whenever I tell her the relationship is destructive she finds a way to defend him and the situation. Of late she's been expressing extremely dark thoughts due to the fact he "doesn't love her" and she says that nothing else matters if he doesn't. She has only known him for a month, however if I imply it seems more like an infatuation that will pass she gets upset and stops talking to me. Is there anything I can do? (By the way, she refuses any sort of professional help and I am pretty much the only person she feels able to talk to.)
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male
reader, LivingWithBadDecisions +, writes (18 March 2013):
 this guy is a cheater but he hasnt lied to your friend about his motives. she knows what he wants but wont accept it. it doesnt make him any less of an a$$ though.
if he knows she has such serious mental health problems and still continues seeing her (even though hes been honest with her) hes more of a jerk because im sure he wouldnt want some 40 year old man getting it on with his young (adult) daughter who already has some unresolved issues.
im not sure you can appeal to anyone here. i think that talking to her parents may be a good idea but like iamheretohelpyou said they need to be understanding and if you dont think they will be then maybe its best to keep it to yourself and hope she wises up sooner rather than later.
dont pass anymore judgement on it. just be there for her when her house of cards collapses.
Cooper
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