A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My school friend from the 50,s has just come back from Canada for a holiday in the U.K.Last week we went out for a few drinks and she got quite drunk .She told me she had a fling with my husband on one of her visits back here 30years ago but never had any contact with him since only when I was around.It didnt result in full sex.She said she was sorry and then later on said she was only kidding.I thought it was the drink talking but decided to find out the truth from my husband.He broke down crying and said he never meant it to happen and he couldnt tell me for fear I threw him out.I know my friend always had a soft spot for him but I never thought she would stoop so low.Apparently before that visit when the fling took place her boyfriend had left her and she had an abortion.She is divorced and has no kids.My husband felt sorry for her and she came on heavy to him.I am gobsmacked for hearing this.We have 2 grown up kids and have enjoyed a happy life.I just dont know what to do .He hasnt stop crying to me since .He says that the only time he was ever unfaithful to me and it taught him a lesson and what I meant to him .She also invited him back to Canada . He never cotacted since .She has been on a few visits since to the u.k. since .Needlesss to say my best friend is not my friend no more.Beth
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): Thanks for all who gave advice on this subject.I am not throwing my marriage away for one mistake.Its been a great marriage and will continue to do so.If theres is no forgiveness there is nothing left. Happy Christmas to all.Beth
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): My take on this is that it would be ridiculous to separate from your husband for a mistake that took place thirty years ago. The news may have been shocking but shake out the initial surprise and actually ponder over your married life, has it been otherwise fulfilling, did it bring you joy and lovely memories? Would you trade it all for a moment of weakness? I would never justify cheating but only you can know once you analyse the last 30 years if your husband's mistake has taught him a lesson and his love for you has grown stronger as he says, if he was sincere in his love and attention I am sure you have felt it. Cut contact with the so called friend though that came up with this hurtful game. All the best. You won't be able to say your relationship was faultless perhaps when you draw a line but perfect is rarely possible, much less achieved. Maybe your marriage is "almost" there, who knows. I couldn't decide from all you said.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): It's common to envisage your partner as an innocent niave party in the proceedings. However he was an adult and could at various stages just walk away. Both betrayed your trust.
Essentially you either leave or stay.
True friendship is a rare and precious thing.
God bless
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