A
female
age
30-35,
*xxangelxxx
writes:my best mate doesn't care any more.My best m8 and i used to be really close, like, we'd do everything together, always together.But gradually sh'e been speading time with lots of other girls who i don't really like. She never says hello to me when she comes in, she just goes straight to them, and only says hi to me when they go. She acts like nothings wrong when shes with me; she laughs and talks about herself to much, she talks about how many guys shes gonna "get with" even though shes under age (not for the first time either!), i like her and everything and we get along really well. But she never listens to me, never. If i look upset she'll say something like "whats up with u?" i'll say theres nothing wrong and she'll run off to hug some guy. She has lost interest in me and doesn't care anymore. We've fallen out alot but i've always gone back to her because i can't immagine life without and because i have no one else. I'm considered a freak between the "popular" girls becuase i don't go around shaggin everything that has a pulse. i'm shy and for this reason it attracts guys in and other girls tend to get jealous even though i show them no interest. my best friend gets a lot of attention because she's a slut (hate sayin it bluntly) she always puts me down and that has really knocked my confidence. what should i do? i can't tlk to her because i get embarassed and she looks really hurt or denies it. i don't want to leave her but at the the same it can't stand being treated like a door mat or her tissue to wipe away her tears. i have no one else and she needs me.
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best friend, confidence, jealous, puts me down, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, toughlove  +, writes (13 October 2007):
It is really good to hear that you are not following the crowd and sleeping around. My heart goes out to you for what you must be going through. One strong person's influence over everyone is usually stronger than they themselves realize or than anyone would ever have them know. Even if those other girls would never admit it even to themselves, they admire you. Stay true to yourself like you've been doing even though you are going through difficult times and you'll persevere, even without having your best friend to lean on.
There's a poem I've read once that I was unable to find ever since, but it goes something like this: if you are so unlucky that you do not have a friend, travel the path alone, through the thorns with your bare feet... wretched... tired... bleeding... you must still carry on.
So, in plain terms, I would be supportive of her but not expect any support back. She still cares about you but she can't help (and even resents) not being as strong as you are.
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (13 October 2007):
 she needs you? you need her more like.
part of growing up means finding friends you have things in common with. she has worked out that you two are different. you call her a slut, no wonder she doen't want to be your friend. finding friends isn't difficult, you just need to stop hanging on to past memories and leave her to her own devices and get on with your life.
harsh but true.
nothing lasts forever.
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