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My best friend may have herpes, does this mean I could too? How can I help her through this?

Tagged as: Friends, Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So my best friend just got out of this long relationship. They were together for almost 5 years. He is a good person to be friends with, but not a good boyfriend. He was really mean to her. Anyway, there is this guy that we used to hang out with like 5-6 years ago. He was always in love with my best friend, she never wanted to be with him, but they were friends. Well she started going to a university and randomly this guy from the past is going to the same school. She starts to hang out with him then thats when she breaks up with her long time boyfriend and starts a new thing with this other guy.

Last week she notices that she has these bumps in her mouth. I told her it was probably just a burn or soemthing and she didn't realize it. She went to the doctors and the test results haven't come back yet, but the doctor told her that she is sure its herpes. Uhhhh? Hm?

She calls me crying telling me about it. Saying her life is over and she is going to kill this guy. When she confronted him he said he had no idea. To me he doesn't seem like the type of guy to lie about things and I don't think he has been with many girls, maybe, but I don't think so.

Two questions. Could I have it too? She has been messing around with this guy for about 2 and a half months now. We are in college so we smoke weed and drink together all the time. She's my best friend we share things, like food, drinks, cigarettes. Could she have given it to me? Or anyone else? Like my boyfriend, her other friends? We all smoke together.

The other question is how do I help her through this? She is my best friend in the whole world. I love her. She's like a sister to me. We are so close, but when she called me I didn't know what to say. How can I comfort her or anything. I'm at a lose for words. Please help.

View related questions: best friend, herpes, university

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (25 April 2011):

chigirl agony auntYes you could get it from sharing food with her, drinks with her etc.

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/oral_herpes/article_em.htm

Herpes is not a death sentence. It is shocking at first to have any kind of STI, it is scary. But herpes is one of the most common and harmless STI's you can contract. It is highly contagious, but then again as a result very common. Comfort your friend with telling her that she is definitely not alone with herpes, and that life is by no means over. After the shock has worn off she will feel better about it, and come to terms with it. You can also tell her that as we go through life, we can end up with a number of things, everything from car accidents, diseases, cancer, sudden death, amputations, fire burns, stretch marks, scars, going blind, you name it. There are so many things that could happen to you through life, and everyone goes through something and deal with it and live good lives (except of course for the serious cases). Then remind her again that getting herpes is one of the least serious and harmful things that could happen to her in her lifetime, and that most definitely she will experience other things that will make the herpes meaningless.

Yes it sucks to have it. It also sucks to have a crooked toe. But it is not the end of the world. Read up about it, learn about it, and come to terms with it.

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