A
female
age
30-35,
*aisy92
writes:Okay so me and my female best friend have been friends for years and we are incredibly close. Lately she has been distant with me as if she is hiding something from me. Then the other day i caught her and my 24 year old brother making out outside the club. However, we were all pretty drunk so I ignored it but she didn't tell me anything which, yeah, I found annoying but its understandable. But then yesterday when my brother and my friend thought I was round my boyfriend's house I caught them sleeping together in my brother's room although they still don't know that I saw. I dont know whether they're in a relationship or if its for fun but whichever i dont think i am ok with. I know i should be but I just cant get my head around it and plus I feel betrayed by the fact they wont tell me. Do I tell them I know? And how am I supposed to react? Plus I find the age difference too big. Plus my brother has a baby boy off his previous relationship where he was engaged so I know my brother is a family guy and I just think that my friend is far too young for all this.
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female
reader, Maisy92 +, writes (5 July 2011):
Maisy92 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all of this.
ok so they told me eventually as i choose to keep quiet and turns out they are in a relationship but after being angry (as i was the last to know) it has all ended well :)
i am ok with it, still wiered and i couldnt imagine my friend as a step-mommy but hey shes pretty connected with the kid so its all good in the end. thanks for advice guys!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011): How to react? Easy enough. You don't react. They aren't doing anything wrong and they don't need to clear it with you first. Your boyfriend and your friend are single and free to date whom they please.To take their failure to inform you as a betrayal is to make their relationship about YOU and it isn't. It's for and about them. They obviously didn't tell you because they're not yet comfortable enough to do so.You can either say nothing or come right out and tell them you know. Don't ask questions or make accusations. Your brother is still your brother and your friend is still your friend.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (2 July 2011):
i would tell them you know what is going on if you don,t say anything you will get more and more annoyed tell them what you saw and tell them your not happy about it maybe they are in a relationship but arent saying anythig as there probably wondering how people will react
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Would you have felt differently about their relationship, if they had told you instead of keeping it a secret? I wouldn't worry about the age difference, it's not really that big. And while your brother is a father, he isn't in a relationship with the boy's mother. So he isn't really a 'family guy' so much. I think you will have to let go of this one, and just let it be. It might blow over, it might not. He will still be your brother, and she your friend.
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A
female
reader, Kiryuu +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Dear Maisy92
It would be a good thing if they knew. If you just kept it a secret all to your self it would make it harder and you would probally feel even more guilty. As for reaction-don't yell or scream or curse at them try reacting calming.
Hope this helps-Kiryuu :)
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A
female
reader, naughtysister76 +, writes (2 July 2011):
Be there for both of them, if and when it comes out, whats the problem about the age thing as long she is not under 18. I would leave it be / just be a sister and a gf
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A
male
reader, Partyboy123  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Hey,
I would talk to your brother first, your friend may get mad if you talk to her, your brother is closer to you than her.
see what happens, all in all, your friends choices and your brothers choices are their choices, you cannot really tell her not to sleep with him etc. as they can do what they want, maybe they are trying to hide it from everyone for reasons that are personal?
i think you are just overreacting, but not in a bad way, you are just curious!
hope i helped! :)
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