A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do i feel like this? A couple of weeks ago i found out my best friend is seeing an ex of mine. I was so angry, mainly because i feel she should of spoke to me first and asked if im ok with it. I would have if it was me and one of her ex's! But to be honest i dont think i would ever date a mates ex, i think its morally wrong. I have kind of accepted it, but when i told her me and my bf might be gettin married in a yr or 2, i asked if she would be my bridesmaid and she said yes and will i be hers for theirs! I feel so angry everytime i think about it but not sure why. I dont have feelings for this ex, he is a great guy and will make her happy. I know quite a while before i met my lovely bf i always thought maybe me and ex might get back together, maybe thats why im angry? Am i right to be? Should i accept it?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 February 2009):
 Yes you have a right to be upset. It's in the "Girl's Code" to not chase after or date a grilfriends ex. But with that being said, if you can stand to look at the two fo them together knowing that you have a better man at home, you might be able to put it aside.
One of my best friends had a crush on a guy ( when we were 18 so long time ago hehe) anyways she hadn't talked much to him but we ran into him one night and there were sparks between him and I, not her and him. Since I knew she had had a crush on him for ages I didn't do anything about hte sparks. I sorta avoided tha places he went. My friend then told me a couple of months later that the guy has asked for my number and she had given it to im, she had no hard feeling about it or feeling for him any more. He and I dated for 5 years after that :)
Did she talk to you about him? About wanting to date him?
I guess it comes down to this. Can you stand having him around? And how strong is your friendship?
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (13 February 2009):
 Hi there,
This happened to me not long ago. I was totally shocked to find out one of my very close mates was seeing my ex of 11 years. In fact I even told them both and made myself look really stupid.
I just couldnt stand the thought that it might work out for them when he gave me such an awfull time. I dont think thats wrong, but maybe I shouldnt have let it get to me quite so much. I think that you looked on your ex as a safety guard, if it didnt work out for you and your present B/F you could always go back. Am I wrong??
My mate called and told me, and I was just so shocked I burst into tears. I didnt want him, buit I didnt want anyone else to want him either..does that make sense??
Well it didnt last for them, she was far less tolerant than I was, and he drove her nuts. Still I know how you feel.
XXX
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