A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15, turning 16 in two weeks. My boyfriend is a really great guy. He's got everything--looks, sweet, sense of humor, caring, and on top of all that, loaded. He would never cheat as he's been cheated on. My best friend (L), for lack of a better word, is a slut. She'd been known to flirt with other girls boyfriends and be the "other woman". She's never gone after anyone I liked or went out with, however. Anyway, my boyfriend and I decided to set her up with a friend of his. He was a really nice guy (R) and she really liked him, and he liked her. It was all well and good until R found out her reputation of a cheater and a skank. That didn't sit well with him and when he asked her about it and L didn't react well. She basically told him she was a slut then and a slut now, so he better deal with it (she has called herself that on many occaisions).R dumped her, and for a few weeks she was miserable and my boyfriend and I felt bad. We were the ones that set her up with him. My boyfriend started being really nice to her, and all of a sudden she was super cheery and got into her "boyfriend stealing mode". Now, whenever my boyfriends around she flirts her head off, pulls her shirt down lower, and shows off her butt and boobs. She's been kind of distant lately, but always tagging along when my boyfriends there. My boyfriend and I talked and he's avoiding her and I am too but she keeps finding him. What do i do she's after him!?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): Its good you had the talk. But....to call your friend a slut doesn't make you such a great friend either. Point out her behavior to her as it happens, like a real friend does. If I had a so called slutty friend, I would help her see her ways are wrong. Maybe she was molested as a child and her breakup triggered some really promiscuous behavior. No one is happy having random, meaningless sex, especially at her age.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone :) we followed your advice and talked to L and she got really mad at first but after we talked it out she realized three things. 1. she had interpreted, as the first aunt said, my boyfriends kindness the wrong way, 2. She was still hurting from breaking up with R, and that the second my boyfriend started being very nice to her she latched on to him to basically get over R, and 3. That what she did really hurt me and we've been best friends since we were kids, why would she ruin that? We aren't as close as we were before, but we are still good friends.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 September 2011):
 I know you were being nice, but it isn't your job to hook your slutty friend up with a potential boyfriend. She seems to do just fine finding her next prey.
Anyways, it's time to step up and put her in her place. Have a firm chat with her, explaining if she was really was your friend then she would stop obsessing/stalking your boyfriend. If she listens to your warning, great. But I would still keep her at arms length. Back off the friendship with her.
Now if she doesn't listen and continues to make a slutty fool of herself in front of your boyfriend, then I would tell her this friendship is over and she needs to take a hike.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 September 2011):
 If she's your "best friend", have a chat with her and tell her that she appears to be flirting with your boyfriend and that neither of you appreciate it. You'd like to remain friends and hang out, but if she wants to hang out with you she needs to tone it down a notch.
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A
female
reader, Sunshinee':)  +, writes (5 September 2011):
 Christ girl, leave your 'best friend' now! If she's willing to jeopardize your relationship in her quest for feeling like someone loves her, she's not the right sort of person for anyone to be friends with. Your boyfriend, however, sounds like a keeper. You just have to remember that he wants you, he's sticking with you and he's trying to stay away from her. You've got him, she hasn't and that's all that matters. She sounds like the type of girl who wants what she can't have and also like she has a bit of a 'love addiction'. Basically, there may have been moments in her childhood where she felt rejected or unloved, maybe her dad didn't stick around, so now she looks for love and acceptation from other men. She just needs to feel like someone wants her. Your boyfriend was nice to her and that triggered the feeling of needing to chase him because he could make her feel better. She took his kindness completely the wrong way and maybe this is something you need to talk to her about, not him? Hopefully she'll realise that what she's trying to do is hurting you and back up. Hope this helps you a little bit, good luck sweetie.
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