A
male
age
30-35,
*gentX
writes:I sort of like this girl who happens to be my best friend, a week back we had an argument and clash of opinions and i felt she was treating me equal to other people even though I am her best friend, she did not speak to me after that. She and 3 other common friends of ours are in the same class at the univ. At the time of the argument we were in the middle of a trip and she was given gge other friend of mine more time than me, but during the argument she said she was my best friend. , i even did not stress it on her that i was not being given importance, i was just dull and moody. After we returned back from the trip, she went home and completely stopped talking to me, i just left 3 text messages explaining why it happened and said, adding that i too overreacted, lets get over it and be back normal. And no contact after that.Today morning after one week she came back and i went in person to just say, " i dont want to talk about what happened, just tell me are we are the same best friends?" she said yes. But she was acting all weird around me, giving me that cold shoulder, talking to me as if she has done some favour by starting to talk again. She was clearly restless, when i asked her why she was dull, she kept on giving me all stupid reasons. I could feel it in my gut that she was not acting correct. I got an impression that she linked my behaviour with my liking. But comeon how does it feel if your best friend ignores you for others..? She said she does not want to give me any false intentions, talk nice and when another guy comes, get into a relationship with him.She is making me confused, how do i deal with the situation, should i ask her what the underlying problem is? Or else give the same treatment what she is giving me? Please suggest
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 Some day she is going to meet a guy and want to date him and after the way that you acted towards her talking to this other guy well it scares her to think that you are possessive over her, she likes you as a friend but nothing more. You need to give her space and accept that she is a friend and nothing more. Just because she is your best friend does not mean that she cannot treat other people the same way as you. Maybe she liked this other guy as more than a friend and that is why she was paying him more attention. She doesn't want to hurt you but she is angry at you for being to clingy. You need to let go or else you will lose her friendship. Some day she is going to start dating guys and you will need to accept this.
A
male
reader, keepinghopealive  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 My opinion,you need to backoff if she's acting that way...sounds as though she felt like you're smothering her all the time. I have lots of female friends and a few of them I have had feelings for,but once that interest is expressed and out in the open,if nothing happens soon after she knows you like her,chances are she don't know how to let you down easy. Save yourself the heartache,and maybe you'll save the friendship. Should she choose to see another guy,and if it hurts you,get out cause you'll only make an ass out of yourself eventually.So just let her be for now,make her come to miss your company,not the other way around. And when/if she does,don't smother her,just remain almost aloof in a way and may e she will come around,but most of all,give her some.spaceGood luck to you
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 November 2011):
 It sounds like your friend is trying to tell you that she is going to date other boys and does not want you to feel badly about that. She is not interested in you as a boyfriend and wants you to be comfortable with that.
You sound like you were behaving as a child might when you were feeling ignored. Maybe having a bit more time to thing about it, you will now recognize that part of being a friend is allowing her to develop other friendships as well, and that you don't own her time. She is not required to allot you a specific amount of time. Maybe she has gotten the impression that you like her as more than just a friend? Maybe that is why she is being distant, because she doesn't want to lead you on, or make you think that she is going to date you.
I'd let her know that you want to remain friends and wish to see her happy, even if that means giving her the courtesy of not demanding all her time. In other words, give her the space she seems to need for now. Perhaps you can spend time with your other friends for now while she cools down, give her a chance to miss your company. Try to be cheerful and bright when you do see her, don't sulk, it's very unappealing to spend time with someone who is having a tantrum.
Cheer up, this will pass! Good luck.
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