A
female
age
30-35,
*ilmisshelpline
writes: Hey aunts!I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and he is honestly my whole world! Even though I am only 17 I feel that I will marry him and have a family with him! But my problem is that the previous relationship which I was in was a cheat and I am becoming paranoid that my bf is going to do the same :( I honestly do not believe that my bf would do this as he isnt that type of guy but my issues are affecting our relationship. I also got with my current bf a few months after he had split up with one of my friends and I get very paranoid when he is talking to her :( I just any advice on how to stop being paranoid really? Any help will be appreciated :)
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 December 2011):
How do you stop being paranoid? You tell him, and he in turn will be complete open with you (hopefully). Also, don't stalk his phone, email and Facebook/whatever page in hope to find dirt.
Trust takes a bit of work to build and maintain. So if you start feeling annoyed with his contacting her, tell him.
I do agree with you that telling a partner to NOT talk to certain people is not a good idea, however, I do think that you can express how you don't like when they "talk" a certain way or certain subjects (sex, your relationship for instance).
A
female
reader, Lilmisshelpline +, writes (7 December 2011):
Lilmisshelpline is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys! But I have spoke to him about it and he has stopped txting her and if she ever messages him he shows me that it is just chitchat and nothing more which is helping mento trust him more but now I feel bad because I don't like telling him he can't talk to people because i don't like it x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2011): don't break up with him, just talk to him and tell him what is going through your head at this point..he may get upset but i bet he will be happy you told him what's been bugging you..and he may not stop talking to this girl but if you tell him what's the matter he can prove to you nothings going on
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