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female
,
anonymous
writes: so my sons father still loves me and he's with his fiance because i dont want to be with him, he asked her to try and piss me off. the thing is that i dont love him or want him. we dont get along well. he keeps emailing me saying how he wants to be friends, but that he still loves me, so its hard for him to just be friends. we start talking and he says that he still loves me so i tell him i dont wanna talk about that stuff and tell him talk to me when he's over me, than we'll work on friendship. so i wont talk to him and than he starts being mean and saying mean things to me to try and get a reaction because i wont talk about how much he loves me and all that stuff. my question is what's his problem how can i get him off my back?
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (19 June 2006):
 Just tell him that whilst you share a son together that is as far as your feelings go for him and if he wants to be a decent father then concentrate on being a proper daddy to your son.
You will always have some sort of contact with this guy because if he is going to see your son on a regular basis then that is a fact of life.
If he is going to be stupid then just stop all contact and tell him that unless he starts to behave responsibly you will go down the legal route for visitation/CSA and see if he starts to get serious then.
I am not suggesting getting vicious but you need to get things on an even keel with him and make it perfectly clear that you purely see him as your son's father and nothing more.
He has a fiance and it is not fair to treat her in this way, otherwise, why did he get engaged in the first place.
It is time to be parents and consider your son and unless he is prepared to be adult about this then you just don't want to discuss anything else. You don't love him but he is just not getting it so keep things on a detached level i.e. if he doesn't buck up his ideas then you will have no alternative but to go down the legal route as he is just not listening to what you want.
I am sure that if you have a mediator of some sort things will be resolved in a professional level instead and the personal attacks will either stop or go the other way but either way you will know how you want to proceed for the future.
Your son obviously needs a father and although I don't know his age, you are the one to set things up for his future so think about what you want for your son now and see if that makes things clearer for you.
Hope the above helps in some small way.
Let me know how you get on eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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