A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Me and my ex have a very odd past, he dumped me to go out with an old friend but we have still remained very good friends... now the thing is, he has feelings for me again and I think I have fallen for him again, after spending some time together... to throw a spanner in the works... HE'S ENGAGED!!!!! What do I do?! Do I declare my love or do I just walk away?!
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female
reader, bemused +, writes (9 November 2008):
Mmm...a tough one. It is good you have maintained a friendship with your ex but did it prevent you from moving on. Were you hoping that this friendship might lead back to a rekindling of the romance. I am not saying this is the case but consider this honestly. You say he let you go for someone else and he is now engaged. That would indicate to me that he is certainly somewhat serious about this girl. A man generally does not propose to a girl for whom he has no feelings. Did he tell you he was engaged or did you find out some other way. If he told you that could be his guys way of saying you are friends only and he values that. You mention this girl is a friend of yours...is she aware of all that has transpired. If I were in your shoes I would have the yellow...caution light on right now. You do not want to alienate your friend either but if you are considering telling this guy how you feel knowing that your friend is engaged to him, it would seem to me that her feelings do not factor into the equation. It could be that he likes having you on the perimeter and you like him because he is currently spoken for. There is the possibility that there is still something there. If you go ahead and tell him how you feel and I think you will....you will have your answer. Is this guy the same age...guys of eighteen are, as a rule NOT in any rush to tie the not. Keep your options open for someone without all this drama would be my advice. If there is something real between the two of you it will happen but consider your dignity and the feelings of your friend. Good luck
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