A
male
age
30-35,
*rBrightside90
writes:Hey everyone,I was in a relationship for over a year. At the ending she was very abusive to me , and it didnt feel good anymore, but when she broke up i was devestated.Now, 3 months later, i still cant forget about her. I think about her every day at least once, When I see her at college, i feel shit as hell.I really dont know why I still feel this way, or what I should do. So i just pretend everything is ok, and i forgot about her, no one of my friends seem to notice im sad deep down inside.Love
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): I think what you are feeling is part of letting go of a long relationship. Your friends can't read your mind if you need some cheering up let them know.
Thinking about her daily just means you haven't gone through grieving and letting her go. Once you can accept the break up you are on your road to recovery.
If there is any way you can avoid seeing her or even looking at her if you happen by then do so. Put away anything or everything that she ever gave you so that you won't be triggered by these things and feel sad.
It is easier if you have no contact of any kind with her and no Facebooking etc...it really just takes time.
I went through a bad breakup too and my boyfriend was abusive towards the end, that is why I broke up with him. So remember there was a reason that you broke up with her, she wasn't the right girl for you. And I find that when someone you love is abusive to you, their main goal in doing that is to make you feel at fault, that there is something wrong with you, when in fact it is themselves they don't like and you are just holding up the mirror for them to see themselves in and they don't like themselves.
That is something that you can't reapair or fix for her, she is just a messed up person otherwise, she would never have been abusive towards you because she would have been happy with herself and she would have taken care of you and care not to say or do things that cut you to the core...just not a healthy relationship, you know.
So instead of being sad, get mad at her and use that anger to get moving and get going and start rebuilding your own self esteem and get back to you. Who is she any way to tell you who you are? You don't need this person to be happy, right? So don't get angry and act out and take revenge, but get angry and stop blaming yourself for the breakup, it wasn't all your fault or even any of your fault most likely, she sounds like a mean spirited, unhappy, messed up girl and you are lucky you dodged a bullet.
There is someone else out there who won't treat you like that.
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