A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been involved with a older man for the pass, 9.5 years. I Thought the world of this man. I have never met anyone so devious and down nasty as him. I caught him cheating several times with different woman, they were always his friends. Now he is involved with a 26 year old who is pregnant by him and he trying to hide it. By the way he is 57years old he turns my guts when I see him, I get sick to my stomach. But I still sleep with him I want this young Lady to see what she is dealing with she think she has something but he still cheating on her with me But I'm tired of dealing with all of this it's making me sick. I have terribble headaches i'm just miseralble. But I refuse to deal with anymore my heart can't and it won't She can have that of poop that's all he is on a shoe. i think the worst of him now. THAT'S A GOOD THING
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): All those years are enough aren't they, of someone like him? Try to leave him and move on, otherwise you will not stand a chance of becoming happier.
This woman will have to find out for herself, as you have. Don't get involved in him and her, as it will only make you more unhappy. Better to put your energy into getting over him and finding a happier life, and hopefully in the future someone better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): I would end your relationship with him and try to move on. Take care of yourself and don't worry about what any of them do with their lives.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (5 December 2010):
 What exactly is the point of sleeping with him to show her 'what she's dealing with'? It makes no sense whatsoever, and honestly, all it shows to both of them is the fact that you have no self-respect and will continue to sleep with a man that freely cheats on you, just to prove a point.
For god's sake, let them have each other.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Why are you telling us this? There was no question in what you wrote, it was all just a pointless rant by a woman that is letting a guy use her and make a fool out of her.
Well I hope it makes you feel good OP, perhaps you should wise up and stop playing his game or at least the next time you have his hairy fat old wrinkly body on top of you, you can remember what you wrote here and smile. Please don't be offended by my tone OP but you really are wasting your own time with this guy and have been for 9.5 years, instead of worrying about this other girl you should worry about yourself. Move on.
By the way, if you go off telling people he's like this then you're the one who looks like either a liar or a fool. "If he's that bad then why are you still with him?" "You're just jealous" Get used to hearing those if you want to keep playing this game OP.
Look you're young, have lots of love to give the right man, stop wasting your time with this deadbeat.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Why are you still sleeping with him? If he is such a man whore, who knows what he could have caught. Move on and get yourself tested for std's.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (5 December 2010):
 So you realize this man is bad news and it seems you are more concerned with showing his new lady the bad side of him rather than protecting and taking care of yourself by getting the hell out of this bad situation for yourself.
As Jilly so smartly pointed out, you have established a pattern for your relationship with this guy. He will not change, why should he...it seems to be working for you.
Why don't you leave him and not look back at the current victim/girlfriend or the next one or the next one? It's not your responsibility to protect these women from this man nor is it your responsibility to tell them what he is. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself and to take yourself out of harms way, emotionally and physically. With so much sleeping around on his part, aren't you afraid he could give you some kind of STD?
Heal yourself and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): It's always sad when one reads a posting from someone who is so unhappy with 'their'choice of partner, as life is not a rehearsal we have to look sometimes at our selection process, as most times it is that which has lead us to where we are.
Giving advice on occasions has to be done with some logic, and detachment, therefore it doesn't always seem to the ' reader' original poster of the question there's much sympathy or empathy provided, such as the proverbial shoulder to cry on, or tea and sympathy, as it is known, but that belongs to personal friends, not those who may be give practical advice to help the reader see they have to TAKE responsibility for their actions, or NON actions especially when they indicate they have known for 9.5 years there partner has been " I have never met anyone so devious and down nasty as him. I caught him cheating several times with different woman, they were always his friends."
It takes two people to make a relationship, one to break it, but only ONE to come to terms with the fact they have a partner who cheats on a regular basis, and yet they still get into bed with him.
YES, from what you say he is not an ideal partner, far from, but equally YOU have allowed this behaviour for so long, he has become accustomed to cheating and returning home to the nest and continuing in same way, as YOU ALLOW him to do that.
You are some 20 years younger than this man, making you in you twenties when you met him, ok you may have been a little un-worldly then, perhaps not enough relationship experience to judge character, but 9.5 years on, there is no excuse for tolerating such behaviour. I presume you are not married, nor have children with this man, as you don't mention either, and IF that is the case I suggest you seriously re-evaluate WHY you have tolerated this for so long, WHY you have not walked from this man years ago when his cheating began.
Anyone can be blinded by love, not realize a partner is cheating, and then of course the aftermath emotionally is horrendous, but we are dealing with a situation where YOU have known all this, and for years, so you have to take some blame for this miserable position you find yourself in now.
Fact: You have gone along with it, yes, you may have protested from time to time, fallen-out, left, came back, but 9.5 years is a long time to be doing that. May be it's time to make a decision for you, about what you want and expect in a relationship, and NOT settle, yes, settle for anything less!
Jilly
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 Stop sleeping with him, you don't have to prove anything to anybody and least of all to the 26 years old. He cheated on you with her, and he'll cheat on her with somebody else, but that really should not concern you. Your concern should be moving on, being grateful that you got rid of a cheater, and trying to live the happiest life you can.
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