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age
51-59,
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writes: My boyfriend drives me nuts. He is so lazy.He is a decent man, caring and loving but he is 43 years old and doesn't have a career and has no drive.I have spoken to him about this so many times but he is content to do nothing all day apart from being on his laptop, doing sudoko or anything else.He is meant to be doing a counselling course but he hasn't even bothered to contact the tutor to see when it starts! All it would take is a phone call or email.He has relied on his Dad to help him financially before and still does. It drives me crazy because while I suffer from anxiety and would do anything to improve my situation and get out that door and have a life, he seems to like staying in, watching movies and not doing anything! You can imagine how I have tried to explain this to him and...nothing, no change.Everything in his life gets left to the last minute, he just doesn't bother. I think, one day, and I hope for this first part, I will get out there and have a life and will leave him behind. To be honest, I don't think it is depression. I have a degree in Psychology and lots of life experiences, and he doesn't have the necessary symptoms.What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): Read 'women who love too much' - it describes how us girls try to change men and cannot let go despite the heartache and things not being right. My best advice to you is to take control of your own part of your life as best as you can. He is wasting his life and has had it way too easy so far. However you will not change this man and should not waste valuable energy trying to do so - think of how far you could get yourself if, for all the time, thinking and energy you expend trying to change this man you spent improving your own thoughts, feelings and opportunities. Things will become clearer when the emphasis of your life is not on your partner but is on yourself. Just try making this switch over in very small ways each day and it will build and gradually his attitude will not matter because you have your own life. Get out as much as you can... very quickly you will see a strong answer and solution to your situation.
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