A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a small concern and issue. I havent seen my cousin for many years. He is my third cousin so we are that distant. Well we moved to a new town and we just happen to run into each other. Him and my fiancée are really good friends. Well I have noticed he's been checking me out. All the time we are around even when my fiancée is around. He has seen it too. Well he's had a lot of bad relationships and just got out of a bad one. and he has a hard time finding them because of his profession. Well I talked to my fiancée and he is cool with this and knows his pain as it took him along time to find me. I went to his house several times and he got a hard on when I was around. He stares and when I sent him a message he gave me a completely different answer. Is he saying he wants me to help him out with it or am I reading him wrong? My fiancée and I have discussed this and he would be ok with me doing that to help him out. Our love between my fiancée and I is so strong I know its gonna last. If I helped him out it would be made clear a one time thing in a desperate situation.
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male
reader, Liebes Kummer  +, writes (25 March 2011):
Well, if your fiance is supportive of you and you really do want to 'help him out' then by all means.But, what if your fiance uses it as a reason not to marry you?I mean, think it through. You are an adult.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am asking if i should do it with him. Yes my fiancee is ok with a relationship outside of ours.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 "If I helped him out it would be made clear a one time thing in a desperate situation."Your cousin is not in a desperate situation. Relationship situations are never desperate. Desperate situations are those concerning life or death, or other serious situations of grave importance. And what sort of help were you thinking of? If he gets a boner when he sees you, and you think of helping him with it... what exactly did you have in mind? It sounds almost as if you are saying you should have sex with him? Which I hope isn't the case. Your cousin is a grown man, he should take care of himself without any help. But again, what sort of help are you talking about? If you want to hook him up with a friend of yours then go for it. If you want to have sex with him then... no.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Could you make it a bit more clearer, exactly what are you wanting to help him out with? Is it to find him a new girlfriend or for you to actually have sex with him? If its what I think it is and you are deciding if you should have sex with him for a one time only thing, well then think again. It will cause so much trouble and if your cousin is in to you it will only lead him on more. Is your fiance ok with you sleeping around with other men? If you both love each other well then sex should be between you and your fiance nobody else. I really dont understand why you would want to have sex with your cousin in the first place, in fact I think that his behaviour is quite rude when he knows that you are with another man and therefore he shouldnt be checking you out, its wrong. If I were you your cousins behaviour would be making me feel uncomfortable. I think you need to talk to him quick and tell him he cant behave the way that he is and that you are engaged to be married and he should respect that. Goodluck.
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