A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What do i do? my 13 year old friend went away to camp, met a guy , lost her virginity , and now thinks she pregnant. She feels like an idiot . I tryed to help her , and im still trying , . Were buying the test soon to see if she pregnant or not . But what does she do if she is pregnant? shes scared to tell her mom and her step dad.I told her dont be scared her mom was a teenage mom , so she'll understand , and if they kick her out she'll live with me . Any tips on amking her feel better and not worry so much ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CB449  +, writes (20 August 2008):
Just knowing that she has a good friend she can rely on is going to be a real help to her. I was a teenage mum, a bit older at 18 but I was way too young and kept my pregnancy hidden from my parents. Encourage your friend to talk to her mum, I was worried that I had let my parents and myself down but now have a beautiful daughter who is nearly 16. I would never say that I regret having her but its been really hard and if I could have my time again I would and do things differently.
A
male
reader, My friend  +, writes (20 August 2008):
first of all talk it thru with her, how does she suspect that she is pregnant? did she use a condom? when was her last period? if u dont know much about it, ask some older friend. maybe she's just freaking out, being a 13 yrs old who lost her virginity! maybe u can rule out pregnancy and get her to calm down a bit before u do the actual test!
I really hope she is not pregnant and if she's not, please try to make SURE that she learnt a BIG lesson from this. its already a big misake to lose her virginity at this age! i dont know how old u are, but you seem like a great friend, so make sure to help her out, and if ur the same age as her, try to get an older friend who can talk to u about sex... specially at this age!
Good luck... let us know the test results ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): Ok, you might be a little offended by my solution, but I say this only because I want to help you and your friend.
No offence, but if your friend met a guy and had sex with him (I'm assuming she didn't know him previously by the sound of your question) then she obviously isn't very mature. I'm not saying she's stupid or anything because she is only 13 and I don't know the circumstances. My point is that she doesn't sound like she is mature or ready to raise a child and if I were her I wouldnt go through with it.
I'm sorry I had to say that because this is touchy subject. By no means do what I say, but take it into consideration.
I also worry about you as well. It's very lovely that you are offering her to live with you, but as psycookie said, you have to be prepared that this is not going to be easy and taking in a pregnant 13 year old will be difficult.
Anyway, there is no way to avoid telling her parents, she just has to and I am sure they will understand. Let her know that she will be supported by those around her who love her, no matter what her decisions are.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Well, if she's pregnant, her parents will know one way or another, so tell her that it's better to tell them early than when her stomach is sticking out.
But otherwise, she's pretty set. Since you said her mom was a teenage mom, she will understand her, but if she kicks her out, she will live with you. If that happens, I hope you're prepared to feed two other mouths. But still, you're being a good friend.
What you could do to calm her down is to tell her that it's a small possibility that she will get pregnant (if she used condoms) and that if she actually does get pregnant, that many MANY people will support her and her baby. Also tell her that her parents will NOT be mad at her, but just upset that their little daughter (she's still a child) has to go through such a painful and tough experience due to her age. They might fear the worst for her, and they will not be able to handle the pressure.
Just tell her that no matter what happens, that she will always have people who will stay by her side and who will love her always.
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