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anonymous
writes: My mother found my diary and I am 14 she has gone really mad as it says a lot of things inside the diary, about my losing my virginity and truanting school. I do not know what to do as my mother does not want to talk to me. Help Please? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Denise, writes (10 February 2005): I'm 18 and my Mother has done the same thing to me a few years back.I know your thinking that she shouldn't have gone through your things and it's not fair and it's not but she has a good reason to maybe she was just worried about you and all she'll want to do is help and be there for you.. just ask her to talk to you for a while and explain how you feel about it, listen to her side as well you'll be suprised.denisex
A reader, Alison, writes (10 February 2005): Your mum will be in shock! Her little girl is growing up. By law you are not ment to have sex untill you are sixteen. You know that I am sure, but you went for it a bit early! There is no point on a lecture because you have been there and this is the problem your mum is having. She would be gearing herself up for mother/daughter type chats about sexual things in 2 years time. You have Surprised her! You also have to remember that ideas about sex and the permissive society have changed a bit from your mother's day. Everyone is growing up quicker than they did only 15 years ago.My advice is to hang on in there. Be best pals with your mum... if she isn't talking to you then be the best for her, do the dishes, washings etc show her you are on side... she'll come round eventually. Don't push it by demanding evenings away from home.. she'll only think the worst. Show her you are responsible and can be trusted. She will eventually see you are and you can be.On s more serious note: don't play truant from classes this can only be said from the perspective of someone who wishes they hadn't!!!And... if you don't mind me saying, keep having sex again untill you are a few years older... I don't want to seem terribly old but wait untill the boys are slightly better at it! Don't worry too much, believe it or not I am sure you and your mum will laugh about it all in 15 years time....also, don't keep a diary if you don't expect it to be read by someone!
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A reader, kerry, writes (7 February 2005): i dont think your mum is mad, just upset... think of this from your mum's point of view! remember, she thinks of you as her little girl whatever age you are and may find it hard to accept that you are growing up. everybody has sex for the first time and truants school. it's just a phase that you go through, but finding out the way your mum did must have been a big shock for her and she's probley hurt that you couldn't be honest with her, especially about the sex thing. mums like to have special relationships with their daughters and want to feel that you will come to them with anything. try and talk to your mum without arguing and try to explain why you have done the things you have, your mum is your best friend. never keep secrets from them. they are the ones who are always there for you no matter what.
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A reader, Kiv, writes (7 February 2005): Forget About Sex Until You're Older.Take Your Education Seriously.Prove to your parents that you're worth the effort they've put into you by your example. Words won't get you anywhere until you build trust again, which Will take some time.You've made the mistakes, the best you can do now is damage control.
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A reader, fran, writes (7 February 2005): i have been in your posistion. i know how you are feeling. it's a big thing for a mum to find out that your little girl isn't a little girl any more. it hurts to find out that you're growing up and there's nothing your mum can do about it.you will have to sit down and talk to your mum. tell her why you're doing the things you're doing and that you'er growing up now, but you have to understand where your mum is coming from. then you both can get along.
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