A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My mother always dates men that are not good to her and they always end up moving in. This I feel puts me in a bad situation. She has dated an alcoholic, two ended up in jail, and the other we have had arrested two times and have a restraining order against. I'm sixteen and although they have never done aything to hurt me or her physically I just dont understand. Help! Do you have any advice?
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female
reader, QOTU +, writes (19 November 2005):
I think your mother feels like she needs to find somebody who loves her, and relys on any schmuck walks her way... I know that sounds mean, and I'm sorry, but some people feel like that and need to be shown how much they're worth. YOu should really talk to her and say that she should be more responsible with the men she dates, because - not only is SHE in danger - but YOU are in danger, too. And any of your siblings, should you have them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): well it sounds just like my mum the best thing you can do is sit your mum down and tell her youre un happy with the men shes dating if she doesnt listen then you should think about talking to social services
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): YOur mother may lose you because she is putting you in danger of being assaulted by her choice of men. There is not much a 16 year old girl can do, but keep your head down, talk to your mother about her choices, encourage her to get counseling, and of course, talk to a counselor yourself. Ask for a referral by the school counselor where you attend school. Certainly the school should know about the situation at your house. Parents can be very distructive to themselves when they are lonely, confused, and desparate to change their lives, at any cost. Your mother needs help to sort out her life, to put some priorities on what is important( her children before boyfriends), and how to go about finding a good man. They rarely hang around taverns drinking all day or night. Your mother needs to develop and pursue other interests where she can meet people, including men who have a common interest other than drinking. You might be able to talk your mother into doing mother- daughter things together, where she can meet men that will respect her.
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