| A ,
anonymous
writes: Im 22 & have a 2 year old little boy with my ex-boyfriend whom I was with for 3 years. We have been through some bad times but we want to try and make our relationship work. My parents hate him. My mother is my boss and she said if I take him back she would fire me. It's so wrong I dont know what to do.
View related questions:
my boss, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, msmcllstr +, writes (25 April 2005):
I had the same problem when I met my husband. My parents hated him. He was banned from their home and when I took our children to see them my husband could never go with us. In the end I grew distant from my parents due to them making it very hard for me to be a part of both their and my husband's life. It wasnt until I got divorced from him that they decided to contact me. My answer to them wasn't what they expected as I told them that if they couldn't have supported me through my marriage then I didn't want their support through my divorce. My parents needed to respect my choice of partner as it was my choice to make not theirs.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (5 April 2005):
 I think your mum is making empty threats. She might be your boss, but she still has to provide a valid reason for sacking you...if she does, which I don't believe she will. If she can't give a legitimate reason for letting you go from her company, you may be able to sue for unfair dismissal. This is something you might want to discuss with a legal advisor, if you're really worried.However, your mum isn't going to sack you. You know why? Because she'll be putting her grandson at risk if she does. What she's doing is trying to manipulate you in the ways that she thinks will hurt most: your finances and your child.You need to address her about this, in your most grown-up mein. Tell her that you can't believe that she'd be so unprofessional as to threaten your livelihood for personal reasons. Tell her that any threats of sacking should be written and will be taken seriously, to your solicitor, if necessary.Furthermore, you should remind your mum that you have a small child to care for, and you're horrified that she'd make suggestions that would put him at risk.What I'm suggesting is that you stop deferring to Mummy in the workplace, as if you were a kid yourself. You're a mother now; you have a child to look after. You can't let people push you around, just to get their way. Your mum is taking advantage of the power imbalance between you, and you wouldn't put up with that from a stranger, so why would you tolerate it from someone who's supposed to love you?Having said all that, give serious thought to why you want to get back together with your boyfriend. If it's just for convenience or it seems comfortable or you miss adult company, it's a REALLY bad idea. Your mum may be right in that respect. And ask yourself this: WHY do your folks hate him? Has he done anything to deserve their wrath, like hitting you or your boy? Has he cheated, or lied or stolen? These aren't traits you can ignore and hope they'll go away. Consider things really carefully and don't just go with whatever seems easiest at the time, particularly if your ex is the sort of man who's very controlling or abusive! Remember, your son has to be your first priority.Last option: consider finding another job, where your mum isn't your boss.Good luck.
...............................
|
