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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a problam with my family. The cause is I have one older sister. She is a kind of perfect girl. My mom very pround of her. She talk to everyone about her. My sister seem to be success in everything she want to do. Sometime when she did a mistake, my mom just said "Don't worry everyone can make a mistake" But when I did a mistake too, mom said "Why u so stupid hah! I'm bored." I'm not jealous of my sister. But I'm very upset cause my mom didn't understand me and she didn't want to try. I try to do my best in everything but mom didn't know it. What should I do. Please help me...
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2005): I am sorry this is happening to you. You need to sit down with your Mom and ask her to treat you the same as she treats your sister. Maybe tell her how much it hurts you and makes your self-esteem feel low. No kid should ever be called stupid-that is very demeaning. If your Mom isn't listening, perhaps you need to talk to another adult about this problem..like your Dad, grandmother or a teacher you trust.
Children with high self esteem feel a sense of trust, security and feel accepted by others. They understand their own self-worth, have self control and are willing to take on challenging or difficult tasks in life. Their confidence soars and they are happy with life.
To help with building self esteem parents need to spend lots of time with your children, especially in activities that they enjoy and are good at, and allow them to make some of their own decisions, so they can learn responsibility and can feel that you trust them. Parents should praise their children and pay positive attention to them and teach them how to accept praise for their accomplishments. Avoid criticizing your children too much. Every child deserves unconditional acceptance and love from their parents.
Please try to find someone to talk with over this problem with your Mother. You deserve to be loved and in order to grow in a healthy way..you need to love your self and keep you self esteem high. Good luck, sweetie and take care.
A
female
reader, lulu +, writes (11 July 2005):
Firstly you should not try and compare yourself to your sister. You are two very individual people and your mother should recognise it. I suggest that you sit down with your mum and explain how you feel as though youre not good enough. Im sure she will soon see how she is making you feel and how it is affecting you. It is obvious you try to please her and do try your best but dont let it ruin the things you like doing. o them because you want to do them, not because it will make your mum giove you attention.
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A
female
reader, mikado +, writes (11 July 2005):
Dear troubled sibling,Are you really sure your mum regards it like that and not just wants to animate you to aim higher? Maybe it just seems like she behaves mean towards you from your point of view. Try to talk to other members of your family and try to find out if they think the same thing. If this is really the case first of all try to talk to your mum about how much it hurts your feelings. If she still doesn't react or tries to change this a bit, I'm sorry to say I see no real chance. In that case my advice would be trying to find someone else who is trustworthy and can give you the support you need. But try someone close to youbefore you hasten into strange relationships, maybe even your sister, who probably feels guilty too about your mother's unfair behaviour.I wish you all the best,me
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