A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My mother in law has a dehabilitating illness that will eventually kill her, there is no known cure and her condition has gotton extremely bad. It is now to the stage that she falls over about 4 times a day in her house. She would then either call the neighbour, my husband or I to go over to pick her up as she lives alone and is unable to get up on her own. She lives in a council house that she refuses to give up. We feared one day one of these falls would be bad, not to mention it is difficult us going over so many times. We have tried endlessly to talk her into speaking to the council to go into some sort of carehome so that she could get the help she needs, because truly, she can not live by herself. She is fiercely stubborn however and refuses to - she wants to stay and live in her house. The doctor recommended ages ago she also get a catheter fitted as she has problems going to the bathroom, which again she refused to do.So as we feared, recently she fell over and broke both her legs. So now she is completely bed ridden - she can not even go to the toilet on her own. My husband is now having to do this for her including wiping her bum etc! He has found this depressing and distressing but of course it is his mum and he can not, NOT do it for her. We have tried saying to her she needs to get it fitted as he can not keep doing this for her and its not right that he has to, but still she is refusing to have the catheter fitted. She needs to be placed in a home of some sort now as we can not keep going over there as much as we have. She now needs 24hrs care, and again still she is adamant to keep on living in her house.It is a hard situation and it is upsetting to see her this ill. I am not being nasty and we try supporting her as much as we can. But the situation has become so difficult and strained for us now. And she keeps refusing the help she needs. We can not just ignore her or when she calls or needs help and to do so would be cruel to just "teach her a lesson" as she is in a very bad way. I simply dont know what to do anymore. We cant force her to go into a home and she refuses to get the help she needs.
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