A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 17 a virgin and I don't have much experience with guys. I do go out when I can with my friends to parties and stuff and I see guys that I like but I just don't get attention unless they are old perverted men or not out of primary school. It may seem like I'm jokey about it, but I feel like its because of my weight and I often feel depressed about the way I look. When I'm around my friends I feel insecure cos they get all of the attention and they talk about all the guys they know and I just feel left out. Most of them have had sex so thats another thing I feel left ou about. I have felt like this for a while now and I don't know if its the people I hang around with or my paranoia. Maybe I should do different things. I want to lose weight so that may help with my self-esteem but I just don't have the will-power. Help me please, I just feel unattractive.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, emily-jo +, writes (19 April 2007):
 You shouldnt feel that way about yourself, and just because your friends have lost their virginaty doesnt mean you have to. Your virginaty is the most precious thing that you have and you dont want to lose it to someone that in a week or so after is a mistake. You should wait for the right person comes along and lose your virginaty to the one who you love. I know it doesnt always work out like that for it didnt with me, and i regret losing mine to the person who i just had fun with. Now i have been in a relationship for 3 years now and i wish that i lost my virginaty to him because i love him.
Your first time is so precious and dont take advantage of that, because once you have lost your virginaty you cant go back and have your first time again.
You should do it when you and only you are ready, nobody can force you into this.
let me know how things go on huni i am hear to help.
Emily-jo xx
A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (15 April 2007):
You say you don't have the willpower to lose weight. Really, it is easy to have the willpower if you have a strong desire to lose weight and the knowledge as to how to do it. A group like Weight Watchers can help, where they give you information and a weekly weigh in.
But a question for you - if you have identified your weight as giving you a confidence problem and you care about being more confident, then why are you not motivated to lose weight? Do you want to stay overweight so that you have an excuse for your unhappiness?
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A
female
reader, mummyjo +, writes (15 April 2007):
first of all there is nothing wrong with you and you shouldnt be in a hurry to lose your virginity it should be with some one who loves and respects you for who you are NOT what you look like and that person will come along eventually i promise
secondly your self esteem seems very low one way of doing this is to go to a class to build your confidence up if you do this first you can find ways of changing yourself because you need confidence to change yourself there are loads of these classes around you just need to look for them they dont cost much either if you look at your local colleges and in some cases they are free ask your doctor if you dont have much luck finding them
and thirdly start trying to like who you and not worrying about how others see you self esteem comes from within try different ways of dressing or make up that you like
have girly nights in without the fellas your friends will help you to like yourself too
pamper yourself long hot baths then a makeover will do your confidence wonders and when your confidence shines through it will to other people too
i hope i have been of some help to you good luck xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): hey, well the only thing i can say to u is that there is nothing wrong with u - i was 19 when i lost my virginity, it was with someone who i was only seeing for a short while as i wasnt sure where i stood with my ex.although i had only known the guy for 3weeks. there was jus something between us and it happened naturally. i wouldnt go out searching for something as everything in life will happen in due course.the more u search for someone like that the longer it will seem it takes to happen.
i used to be fairly uncomfortable also, but then i was in the mind set that whilst walking down the street if im worried about wat others think of me - well how many of these people am i ACTUALLY gonna see again for me to worry about their opinions!
but to conclude, all i say is u should NEVER compare ur self to anyone as u are ur own person...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): Hi dear!
Don't worry about it! It was the same with me and I'm very, very glad today, for I have now a very lovely boyfriend and I'm very glad that I do not have a past with changing sex-partners more often than my pants like my friend did and still do. It is better to wait for sex to be with the right parnter not just sleeping around. This guys will just use you for getting sex, but this has nothing to do with love. Wait for THE ONE. He will come. You are only 17. You may will have a few years, but that's worth do do!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): Hi There,
Do not let this bother you. Your time will come, and you shouldn't rush it; in a few years time you will most probably be glad that you weren't one of those girls that lost their virginity really young. If it makes you feel any better, most guys prefer girls who have been with no other guys before or as few as possible.
They may stay away from you because you lack overall confidence in yourself. Believe in yourself more, hold your head up high and be confident in yourself. The impression that you hold on yourself is often mirrored on to the opinions that others have on you.
I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): It seems that you suffer from low self esteem which is never a good thing. You are suffering from it because you feel depressed by the way you look and your weight. By feeling down about the way you look and weigh is affecting your confidence which could be causing guys to not give you much attention. Learn to love yourself for who you are and then your confidence will shine through. As for still being a virgin many girls lose it years after the legal age of 16 so don't worry, after all it's better to keep your virginity for a guy which is special rather than lose it to some guy who doesn't care about you.
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