A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Help! after 3 years of marriage i recnetly discoverd my husband has been texting sex text line for the last 2 years, i caught him out 5 months ago,discovered he has spent £16,00 on them. After weeks of emotional turmoil i decided to make it work, yesterday i found out he never stopped, i think there are mental health issues as well as sexual issues as he has been masturbating over the texting, but is unable to ejaculate with me or as i found out yesterday, his ex partner also. He was a virgin untill he was 40 also a very solitary farmer. Do i move on from this (he has now moved to his parants house), or try to help him? all my trust has gone, i am heartbroken, and really dont know how to deal with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Trish, i kinda knew what answer I would get, The firs time i told him to leave, the second time he just knew to leave! I now feel so sad for him, yesterday morn I offered to go and get him help, and told him if we meant anything to him he would see it through, i have no response yet, i need to speak with him because of work, he acts as if nothing is wrong! there are a lot of serious issues here,i dont know if he is taking that on board that he is about too loose everything.he has told me he has put a permanent barr on these numbers for his phone, maybe he has, but its too late isnt it? Thanks for your sypport.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 April 2010):
Oof, that's a bad situation. I hate to be negative, but he doesn't sound like a good prospect for recovery. I guess it depends on whether he wants to work on things with you or not. His being a virgin at 40 isn't the cause of this, it's one of the symptoms of a deeper issue.
Did you ask him to move out, or did he take himself away from the conflict?
You know what, I think this man has issues that will take years to resolve. Paying for sex lines to the amount you listed sounds like a bad addiction. Lying to you about stopping isn't a good time. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. A cliche, yes, but you gave him a second chance and he didn't follow through on it.
For you, you need to find support to help you get through this. You need to have a friend, close family member or counselor to talk to and get you through this. Can you access the help at Relate?
You can't get through this alone; reach out for support and help from someone who loves you or someone who is trained to help people in crisis.
I hope things work out for the best for you.
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