A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello friends. OK this one is weird.I fell for my best friend about 6 months ago, and told him so 2 months ago.He's an incredibly shy inexperienced guy with some problems with depression, but I feel I know him well and these things make him him.He says he loves me but that he has a lot to work out in his head. So, we walk around hugging and kissing each other on the cheek and it is frustrating me like hell. So far I believe I've hidden the frustration well but this is beginning to upset me because well, I'm only human!He just says we have all the time in the world. Sometimes I feel that is selfish, sometimes I feel that I am the selfish one - I know I can't walk away from this yet.Im just looking for insights into this situation really - anyone been here?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess I want definition. And progress. Yes I do want to have sex but I would be able to wait on that score if i at least felt we were moving towards it.
He's moving 200 miles to be closer to me for goodness sake - I feel like im on some weird pedastal, and its kinda lonely up here. Surely no matter how messed up he is he should at least want a proper snog if he liked me that way?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): What is it that you are not okay with right now?
Not calling it an official relationship to each other? Not calling it an official relationship to the rest of the world? Not having sex? Not acting like it's a relationship otherwise?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 April 2009):
I've had boyfriend that I was afraid to talk to because I had to walk on eggshells all the time because they were so delicate.
Let me tell you, it builds and builds. You get so used to being miserable with them that you put up with a LOT of bad behaviour and tell yourself that this is just the way your relationship is.
You grow to hate them but you can't ever leave them because they love you and you don't want to hurt them.
Please don't let it go that far.
Be OPEN about how you feel. When he says he has all the time in the world, tell him that you don't and you don't want to be in a teenage relationship that revolves around hand holding.
Tell him you are a woman and you love him but you need him to man up and be a boyfriend if this is going to work. Ask him why he doesn't seem to want you.
You can be incredibly close friends but if he doesn't want you in a sexual way then you can't kid yourself that this is a relationship.
Good Luck!! xx
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