A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Been with my fiance for 3 years. Currently We are BROKE. Had to cancel wedding (was meant to be next month) can't even elope cause we have no money for that. I had celebrant asking when we are putting deposit down and my fiance said "we need to get our priorities right" (fair enough) One car blew up 2 months ago, my car is playing up and his car is stuffed.He's driving his friend's car to work. The laptop died our microwave blew up and we are behind on our electricity bill. He wants to take annual leave to go to a car drag racing event for a weekend next month and leave me with our two kids and my other two girls.Mind you I haven't had a night off in 4 months. We haven't even gone out to dinner in 6 months because we can't afford to and he's going to use bill or food money to fund a weekend away at a car show. This isn't right is it?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 April 2017):
 Not if he is using bill money to fund it. You need to talk to him about it. Because if you let this build up it could damage the relationship. You need to put the children's expenses first and pay off the bills. It would be a firm no from me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2017): If he's taking money for actual bills or food . Then no absolutely no !!
You need money for electricity tell him so he is not getting this money . Or food money that's a definite no
He does not need to be a happy bunny
Life isn't for spending money willy nilly when you have kids .
You need to fix your finances double quick .
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (15 April 2017):
 I don’t see him as having any priorities if he takes food from the family table and spends that money on a week-end away for himself.
As much as we all need a break to recharge our batteries, the trouble with having financial issues such as yours is you will always have it there greeting you when you come back home. Problems never go away by ignoring them or by trying to escape from them for a week-end etc.
After 3 years you’d have a clear picture of what your life will be like with someone who doesn’t have a head for priorities? To struggle paying for the basic necessities in life sounds depressing :(
I suggest you’ll have to put your foot down, take charge of the finances, cut down hard on non-essentials, do family free outings, visit Life Line for a cheap microwave, and start a budget to get back on top.
Once you have all essential items paid for, you will immediately feel the pressure lift off your shoulders. Once this is achieved it doesn’t mean one goes back to spending big.
Take Care – CAA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2017): Sounds ridiculous. You're both in the relationship and times are currently hard. While you both deserve a break an entire weekend away is wasteful when you are behind on bills and have children to clothe and feed.
Compromise to one night and that actually the weekend after that you are having a night off too. Whether you visit a girlfriend or stay with family just do something for you and ensure there I fairness and balance in the relationship.
Then you both need to plan your finances together and priorities for the family to use money. Surely your kids would like a night away too? Why should he get a weekend at car racing when actually his whole family deserve a break from the hard times.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 April 2017):
 No, its not right. But then... If neither of you get to live life, then the relationship will go to the shitter in no time. Compromise. He goes away this time, then you get to go away next weekend.
Him going away for a weekend is not the same cost as a new car, microwave and wedding. You would still not get all these things if he stays. And if he goes, you get a happy man in return. Let him go. You go next.
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